Love Is A Bitch

PROLOGUE

  I listen to the rain as it pours down. Looking at the dark sky through my window bring me a sense of comfort, the cold evening air somewhat calming.

  Alyssa walks out of my bedroom stark naked. She straddles my waist wrapping her arms around my neck. Her blonde hair cascades down her back ending at her hips. She looks into my eyes for something, anything. But, like always she finds nothing. One could never find anything in my eyes.

  She drops her head into the crook of my neck, resting it there.

"I need you," She says just above a whisper. I lift her head so that I can look into her eyes, seeing them full of lust and desire.

"Tell me what you want." I tell her.

"You, anyway I can." She says staring at my lips.

  I brush my lips against hers, just to tease her. She figures out my game quickly and roughly presses her lips to mine. I gently flip us on the couch so that she is beneath me. I move my lips to her neck. She tilts her head back to give me better access. I don't hesitate taking advantage of this.

  I grind my hips against hers causing her to groan in pleasure.

"Please," She says, begging me to relieve the ache between her legs.

  I slowly kiss down her chest to her stomach and then down her inner thigh, skipping her core. She groans again making me smirk against her skin. I make my way back up to her lips. She prevented me from teasing her with my kiss so this will be her punishment.

"Nate, please," She begs against my lips. I don't answer her. Instead, I press my lips back to hers.

  My right hand trails down her waist slowly, resting on her hip. I give it a gentle squeeze. Leisurely, I inch my other hand towards her clit, soothing her wet, aching core. My mouth muffles her moans as I rub her clit in gentle circles, her grip on my shoulders tightening.

  Her nails scratch down my back as I quicken my circular motions. She wraps her legs around my waist, her breathing heavy telling me she's close to her climax.

"Nate," She moans as she cums on my fingers.

  I trail my fingers from her heat, up her stomach and to my mouth, licking my fingers clean of her nectar. All this was done whilst staring deeply into her eyes.

"Now get the fuck out of my house." I whisper to her before getting up and making my way into my room for a shower.

  I don't feel anything other than lust for Alyssa and I never will. She's just someone I keep around for pleasure, no strings attached. She knows I will never feel anything for her romantically. I make sure she understands that every time we're together.

  I listen to her sigh loudly, gather her things and shut the door behind her.

  Stepping into the shower, I turn the faucet to the hottest setting before standing directly under it allowing the water to cascade down my back, reddening my skin.

  I don't feel the heat anymore. I haven't for a long time. I haven't felt much for a long time. No emotion. No pain. Nothing. I've just been numb, working and fucking Alyssa.

  I'm not looking for a partner. I find no point in it. I don't believe in love, soul mates. To me, it's all just a waste of precious time and money that can be better spent elsewhere.

  Instead, I focus on my work. Running and enterprise isn't easy either, so even if I did believe in love, I'd have no time for it. I'm constantly going on business trips and I spend majority of my time at my office. The poor woman would practically be alone the entire time. It's absolutely worthless.

  Stepping out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and make my way into the closet before throwing on a pair of sweatpants. I walk back into the living room, sit on the couch and look out the floor to ceiling window.

  The city is beautiful at night.  It's at times like these I'm thankful for my insomnia. I get to admire the city at its most beautiful hours. I enjoy looking at the city lights and listening to the pitter-patter of the rain and cars swooshing by. The silence and calmness of the evening. It bring me to a state of clarity.

  But at the same time, I hate the overwhelming silence. It gives me too much space to think and ponder my life changing decisions, my childhood, my future. It makes me think of my abusive father telling me how much of a waste of sperm I was. It makes me think about my adolescent years, drowning myself in drugs in hopes to numb the pain or completely erase it. It makes me think of my alcoholic mother who would watch my dad beat me, then send me out to get another bottle. I used to believe my father's words in thinking I'd never be more than the useless offspring of a junkie and alcoholic.

  I'd like to believe I inherited my addiction from my parents but that was all my own doing. I chose to light another blunt, pop another pill, empty another syringe.

  I could've stopped it but I didn't because I didn't know how to deal with my problems in a healthy way. I wanted to escape, craved my next fix.

  In a way, I am also thankful for my discouraging father. He made me who I am today, CEO of Milnerton Enterprises, the richest man in the country among other things.

  He was the one to show me there is no such thing as love. If it weren't for him, I'd probably be stuck in a loveless, toxic relationship believing in something as asinine as love. Love is nothing but lies and deceit. Love is an illusion created by lonely people who want something grand to look forward to in life.

Love is a bitch.