Surely, the world is meant to be a beautiful thing, the way the sun shines, and how one day must always lead to another. The way birds chirp, grass grows, and clouds move... The way animals and children are born, grow, fall in love. The way rain and snow fall from the sky, and the way the ocean waves crash amongst the rocks, receding, then repeating the process. Surely this must all be beautiful, or at least should be.
To me, however, I do not see the beauty in it.
The world is dark, ugly, horrid, even more so the human race. Why do we hurt, die, kill? Why are we depressed? Heartbroken? Why have we the reason to call one ugly, and another gorgeous? Why is one good, and one evil? Why am I a gay, stupid loser, and not a jock or cheerleader? Why are the nerds lame, and not the drama kids?
Why must I suffer? What gives me the urge to slash a sharp blade across my wrist, or slip a noose around my neck? Hold a gun to my head? Why should I end my life?
For there to be happiness, there must be suffering, they say, and I suppose then I am the suffering. But why cannot I too be happy? Truly, I must deserve the privilege as well!
Everyone has their own setting, their own world, and mine is dark; dark, cloudy, dead. Day after day I wish for light, and yet I am never given any, and that is why I cry.
My great internal battle... should I or should I not?
It will all end soon, just wait, says one side, while the other argues, No, no, do you not see? It'll never get better. You've waited, and waited, and it's still not any happier.
I am leaning towards death, I can tell. As I lay out in the woods, staring up at the sunlight poking through the dark green of the treetops, I think, Dear God, please kill me.
It's not like I would be missed.
YOU ARE READING
Maybe 【OC x Pinkie Pie】~MLP WATTY AWARDS~
FanficDarkness... what else is there? I cannot see; the walls are closing in around me- And then! a patch of light. A bright, pink, light... Could I, quite possibly, be saved?
