Fix you

Chp. 4 Cycle of Tears

Yesterday. Cameron told me he's been watching me (not in creepy way).

I have no idea what to feel. Happy? Exited? Sad? I mean, I feel pretty happy, I mean who wouldn't. But yet, I feel stressed, for having a "possible crush" on him and not knowing what to do.

He's just going to make me miserable.

How do I know this? Freshman year.

I had a crush on a guy named Matt. He was pretty good looking if you'd ask me, and he was really kind-hearted. I confessed to him, and he went out with me. But what I didn't know, was this "relationship" was all a game.

A dare.

I cried all alone. I felt broken and lied to. I asked myself countless times: Is it possible for me to be happy? I never trusted anyone, not even my best friend. She got tired of my crap and left. People would laugh at me. Girls would push me, leave notes in my locker. Guys would whistle whenever I walked by and would say: Hey Hazel, truth or dare? People were horrible. And this all happened because of a guy and a stupid crush.

I'm not stupid anymore. I know what this world is capable of.

Cameron could be putting on this half-assed show for me to fall for him and he would win. Then, the cycle of tears would happen all over again.

Or he could actually like me.

That's funny Hazel. You could be a comedian one day.

I felt like crying when Cameron text me.

"Hey :) wanna get ice-cream? I miss you."

Lies.

"Can't. Homework." I replied.

"That's funny Hazel. I'm on my way."

Wow, I am gonna be a comedian one day.

Since Cameron wouldn't stop bugging me about taking me to ice-cream, I decided to go. I see him drive up to my house and roll down his window.

"Cmon princess, your chariot awaits."

I feel my cheeks flush from his remark and hide my face down while walking to his car.

"Just get me my ice-cream." I said.

"Your adorable you know that right?" He said.

"Shut up."

He drove us to the ice-cream parlor and we eat our ice-cream outside. As I finish my ice-cream, Cameron hugs me.

"You seemed sad all day, maybe you need a hug from your boyfriend." Cameron said.

"My boyfriend?! When were you ever my boyfriend? As if."

"C'mon Hazel, I'm trying really hard here."

I stand from my chair.

"At what? Trying to win your little game? I'm not an idiot ok! I know you don't actually love me and this is just some fucking amusement to you!" After my rant, I realize I was crying.

Right in front of Cameron.

Cameron stood up from his chair while I start to back away. He kept walking forward while I kept backing away and I almost started to run. He grabs my arm and embraces me in his arms.

"I don't know what happened in the past before I met you Hazel, but this is the present, and I love you. This isn't a game, this is me, telling you I love you with all my heart. Don't ever assume that I don't, because I do. That is the truth."

While hearing his words, I start to cry even harder below his shoulder. He rubs my back slowly and hugs me tightly.

"Hazel I love you. Don't ever forget that."

(PLZ READ SIDE NOTE BELOW)

~*~

I almost started crying while writing this bc loner and no one loves me ('Д' )

Before I end this little "side note" I just wanna let you all know, you are never alone. If you ever feel like it, there is always a tomorrow and you can never expect what to happen.

No matter who you are, what sexuality you are, I love you.

Just remember that.

~Ali