When They Loved You [BTS ONE-SHOTS]

Cold Feet | KNJ

Namjoon x reader feat. Yoongi

Part of the Series When They Loved You - A collection of moments when they loved you... Namjoon's Ver.

90% Angst / 10% Fluff : You don't want to get married anymore, what does Namjoon want?

—

"What's wrong?"

Your frantic sister grabs Namjoon away from his friends and discreetly pulls him out of the room towards your suite. "She doesn't want to go, I don't know what to do!" She hisses, looking at him pleadingly. After years of friendship between you and him, she knows he's the only one who could calm you down enough to talk some sense into you.

Soft clicking from your sister's heels and Namjoon's dress shoes on the marble floor echoes throughout the hall, becoming louder and quicker with each step as Namjoon rushes towards your side.

—

You stand in the bathroom of your suite holding onto the sink for support, your legs shaking, your bridesmaids quietly pleading for you to unlock the door. Your white dress is bunched up around you in the tiny space, you feel like a caged animal. You hear hushed whispers coming from the other room, and then a soft knocking at the door.

"Y/n, it's me.."

'Namjoon.'

Without second thought you fling the door open and surprise the large man with the strength at which you pull him inside. You quickly lock the door again, trapping Namjoon in the bathroom with you.

You stand face to face in the small space, and Namjoon can't help but take a moment to admire how beautiful you look in your wedding dress, the flowers scattered in your hair awaiting the veil you refused to wear, the expertly placed makeup that softened and highlighted your features. Even with your red eyes and tears down your cheeks, you're the most beautiful he's ever seen you.

"What's wrong?" He brings a hand to your face, and you lean into the warmth of his palm against your cheek.

"I can't do this." Your eyes fill with tears once more at his pained smile, because you know you're going to disappoint him and everyone else, you're not strong enough, not this time.

"Hey, it will be alright," Namjoon whispers, "C'mon, let's get you married."

You shake your head at him, swallowing down your remaining tears. He finds your hand to pull you away from the door, but you hold your ground.

"This is a mistake."

Joon's chest clenches at your words and the pain on your face.

"He deserves someone better than me, Joon. Maybe...maybe I don't deserve this kind of happiness. I...I don't deserve him. I ruin everything, I can't ruin him t-too, Namjoon, I c-can't!" You're unraveling, but it's okay, because you know Namjoon won't judge you.

You stare down at the cascading white fabric around you, ashamed you let it get this far. Namjoon wipes away the tears brimming in your eyes with his thumb, hands holding your face up to look at him as you try to hold on to yourself from falling apart. Namjoon holds you together instead.

Your best friend looks down at you with sparkling eyes, shining with tears he holds back. Out of all the years you've known him he rarely cries in front of you, the sight makes more tears escape.

Namjoon swallows hard, "You deserve everything."

You cry and bury your face in his chest, wrapping your arms around him to pull him closer. You're scared. You're so scared. How can you convince him this can't happen, that you can't get married.

—

Jimin and Jin pass around glasses of Yoongi's favorite whiskey. They toast to his future and cheer. The groom-to-be is full of jitters, grateful for the support his friends give him. Usually he enjoys his solitude, but on this day he welcomes all his friends' doting. He smiles, feeling nervous and excited.

Taehyung pulls him into an embrace, "Ready?"

Yoongi nods, wanting to be by your side again, "I wonder how she's doing..."

—

Namjoon lets you cry out all your worries and fears. Even when there's a pounding on the door, he holds you closer.

"Look at me, I have to tell you something."

—

Namjoon finds his place next to Yoongi as his best man. He pats Yoongi on the back, shaking his shoulder and giving him an encouraging smile, Namjoon can tell how nervous his friend is by the way he keeps adjusting his clothes and scratching his neck. The wedding party buzzes with excited energy, and then the doors open. Yoongi stands a little bit straighter once the music of your arrival begins, alerting Namjoon to stare forward and brace himself for what will happen next.

Namjoon is happy for his best friend, and he's happy for you, but is he happy? His thoughts stop when he sees you again. No one would have ever guessed you had just moments before been crying in Namjoon's arms. You smile wide, eyes sparkling with happiness as you walk down the aisle.

The closer you walk to the altar the further Namjoon feels you're walking away from him, and his stomach turns with every step. His body goes numb when you take Yoongi's hand in yours, giggling with your husband-to-be, lost in each other's eyes.

Namjoon had promised you over and over again that you weren't making a mistake. But right now, seeing you, he thinks is he the one making the mistake? Locked in the bathroom alone with you, instead of telling you what he desperately wanted to say, he held himself back, wanting to prove to you that nothing could ruin your big day.

—

"You know, who says he isn't capable of ruining his own life?" You snort. "If anything, you'll be doing all of us a favor." You scoff against his shoulder as he rocks you in his arms. "He needs you, y/n."

"I'm scared. This is the biggest decision of our lives, what if he regrets it?"

"He won't."

"But what if-"

"Then you divorce,"

"Joon!"

"Hey, you laughed!"

You sigh and detangle yourself from his embrace. You look at your best friend and he holds your gaze. He's always been there for you, always been your rock, and you're grateful now more than ever that you have Kim Namjoon in your life. You place your forehead against his, and the sound of your breaths syncing become the only sounds left in the quiet space. You take one last shuddering deep breath.

"Are you ready?"

—

"I do."

Yoongi kisses you before prompted, earning cheers from the guests. His presence captivated you until the very end, when you hugged him as his new wife. Namjoon joins everyone in clapping for your new union, and he can't decide whether he's happy that you finally notice him again, in his best friend's arms, smiling at him from behind Yoongi's frame. It only lasts a second, before Yoongi is pulling you down the aisle.

As he watches you leave, Namjoon thinks about all the smiles, all the tears, every late night drive and early morning hike you shared, all your arguments and all your jokes, everything he loved about you. He replays your last conversation together in his head, and he wished he had told you how much he loved you in that moment instead.

—

I feel like you can clearly tell who is bias wrecking me at the moment lmao. I told myself I would do a one shot, but I DON'T KNOW now I want to add more cries. For now, Cold Feet will stay as just a story about cold feet. Did you like it? <3