How I Live Her Life

Chapter One

A/N- So happy to get this chapter out their , it is kind of late but i wanted this to be perfect this chapter is UNEDITED and will be EDITED on SATURDAY .

My black dress clung to my body providing no comfort for my mind or my body. I think the only one it comforted was Chloe's parents reminding them that were were mouring.                                                    

   I did not even know chloe was dying, instead on a cool july night I woke to hear the ambulances screams and lights that blinded me, the sirens left a rining sensation in my head and all i wanted to know was what was going on.Chloe voided the fact that each breath she took dimmed each day she had left on earth. She died that night due to gliblastoma , she was like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. unkowingly to me i would never see her alive again , not after that night in july.                              

          Two days after chloe's death came her funeral, I never wanted to be in this position again not with someone who I loved dearly. Sitting in chloe's room brought back the old memories , oh how i wish i did not take those moments forgranted. Chloe's mother had knocked gently on the door before entering, you could see it in her pale face , just how tired she was of entertaining people at her home where she did not have the abliltiy of having comfort to cry in peace. She patted my shoulder gently and handed me a pink envelope with loopy handwriting. The only thing crossing my mind is how many ways i could rip that letter up, how do you have time to write a letter to your best friend but not tell them that your days are counting down and to make every moment last. How do you ignore that fact that at any moment the breath you are taking could be your very last.      

        So for the next week onward a layed in my dark bedroom curled in fetal position crying. After a week my mom got tired of sobbing and just overall doing nothing that when she slammed open my door it came as a shock, does this woman not know to let me mourn.

"Mia Evelyn Jones get your butt up right now youngg lady"

"No..I..I do not want to" thats what I said but coming out of my muffled pillow was just a bunch of new words.

"Chloe would not have wanted to see you like this" moms attempt at a soothing tone would not work on anyone certainly not me.

"well then it is a good thing chloe is dead isn't it "

"You know you do not mean that Mia , it is okay to mourn but you know chloe would not want this"    

"God dammit we do not know what she wanted , for all we know she wanted a pink elephant but the facts are she would not tell us either way because she hids facts , like the fact that she was dying"

My mothers face became guilty

" You knew didn't you, you knew she was dying , you knew every day we hung out was a day she could die"

"Mia you have to understand it was not my place to tell you, it is not my fault you did not know"

"When is it ever your fault" I fired back at her hoping to anger her or hurt her like she hurt me.

"Mia stop this right now and grow up, terrible things happen but you have to move forward, get up and shower even if that is all you can do" she walked out of my room leaving the door open

the open door allowed sunlight to show what a mess my life had become. The sunlight hit the corner of my desk where a pink envelope was finally noticed. practically crawling out of bed I made my way to the letter and grabbed it . on  the front was MIA scrawled in loopy girly letters, that was deffinetly Chloe's handwriting. Holding it in my hand all of my anger resurfaced and all i wanted to do destrroy the damn thing that destroyed my life. I tored it open  and all of a sudden my anger melted away, this was my last piece of chloe and I would forever treasure it. I opened up the neatly folded letter and began to read.