All Love Is the Same

I am a pessimist and a skeptic, but I have no doubt that love is absolute and abundant. The only thing that completely perplexes me is the hierarchy society tends to organize human relationships in. For some reason, your romantic partner should come before your family and friendships. Why is this the case? If you think about it, all the feelings that comprise these different relationships are mostly the same. Going out with friends brings you immense joy. You all laugh at each other's jokes and feel nervous going on new adventures. Is this a different type of joy than you feel with your partner? Do your nerves or giggles manifest in a way that is distinct from those you share with friends? In my experience, the answer has always been no. This leaves me to continue wondering why we give romantic relationships more weight than others.

Trust is the foundation of any dependable relationship. A child trusts their mother because she has always taken care of them and has their best interest at heart. You trust your best friend based on the years of shared experiences between the two of you. Both of these relationships require large amounts of time to build that trust. Romantic relationships, on the other hand, require almost immediate trust. Guards are down and layers are peeled from as early as a first text message exchange. The months it took you to build even a slight amount of confidence in your best friend has been reduced to weeks just to figure out if you even like this person. That's right. Your trust expectations have been lowered from day one and you haven't even begun to process if there are deeper feelings of love there. The love felt for family members and friends coincides with our trust levels that have been built with them over significant amounts of our lives, and what has been built can quickly be broken by dishonesty or betrayal. With our partners, we are told to be patient and empathetic which is understandable considering how quickly romantic partnerships form. What isn't understandable is why this instant vulnerability and lower level of trust is placed above everything else.

I believe that love-- whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial-- is universal. The elements for each individual relationship may differ (you obviously wouldn't kiss your cousin the same way you kiss your girlfriend), but the feelings surrounding your love for everyone are completely the same. Love is absolute and abundant, but don't forget that above all else, it is equal.