BEAUTIFUL

CH 1

This has a lot of POV variations... So, try not getting confused na. A long story ahead. Beware... Forgive the typos na, I didn't have time to edit.

-Wannie

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MEWS POV...

I am sitting with Gulf in his hotels restaurant. He's sitting right across the table from me, smiling just like he always does. Like the bright sunflower that he is. Like the happy go lucky kid he is.

Who would believe that he is actually a twenty-six years-old adult and not a teenager. He's too carefree to be called an adult even. Sometimes I wonder if I really did do the right thing by saying yes when he asked me to be his boyfriend.

Do I even deserve him?

Hes too bright and happy all the tie to be dating someone so dull and depressed as me. I can barely ever even smile. I dont smile for days without no reason now.

I lost all my reasons when I broke up with her. My ex-girlfriend.

She was the one who broke me into too many pieces for anybody to even collect anymore. My heart basically was crushed to dust. Being with her was the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Loving her was the worst mistake I ever did. My worst decision ever.

She stressed me out on everything and anything that happened. And, I, like the stupid fool I am, did everything I could for her.

She manipulated me throughout the period of time we were together. She always acted like the guilty one, like the one at fault just to guilt trip me into her plans. I literally lost the life in me back then itself.

It is just this shell for all my terrible memories and my always anxious self now stuck in that we call a body. All Im practically alive for, now, is breathing and... trying to be someone who deserves this man sitting in front of him.

I love him. Ive never said this to him but I really do.

He says he loves me too. He says that a lot. A lot means A LOT. He says I love you to me for about hundred times a day, every single day. Of course it feels good to hear someone say that to me.

But... I just cant even try to look for any genuineness in those words ever since two years ago. That was the time when my girlfriend used to say that to me the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. But she turned out to be cheating on me for more than a year in our relationship of four years.

The day I found her acting so in love with another man in front of my eyes, knowing that I WAS THERE... It broke me. Broke me not into pieces but dust. I had tried to kill myself so many times after that.

Not even a whole week after the break up, I stabbed myself in the stomach.

I tried overdosing on sleeping pills but my friends took me to the hospital in time.

I tried jumping off of a bridge once- no, multiple times. But every time I would back out for hw much of a scaredy cat I am.

My wrist is littered with scars because of how often I cut myself. But I can never bring myself to cut it deep enough so it actually hurts a major vein.

Once I almost died in an almost-car accident.

Wasn't that when I had met Gulf again?

He was the one driving and I was passing the road. I didnt notice a car was coming my way and almost got hit by it if not for Gulf pulling the brake in time. We knew each other since middle-school. He was my junior back then.