Put Me In A Movie || DreamNotFound

heavier

The brunette took in a deep breath as he stepped onto the scale. "Fuck"

George was very insecure about himself and his body. He never really liked the way that he looked. Some of this started through childhood when he would get bullied at school for being too chubby and it wasn't any better at home. His dad was very mentally and physically abusive, and his mom was always at work. George would do his best not to make any contact with his father, but his younger sister would do the opposite. But you can't blame her...all she wanted was to spend time with her own dad despite all the bad things he has done.

George was ecstatic when he turned 18 because he could move out as quick as possible. He felt a little bit bad for his sister but his mom reassured him that it would be okay. After leaving his former household, George was already mentally and physically drained. He had scars all over his body and never got over the fact that 'he wasn't good enough'.

So, George found 3 things that relived the stress. At first it was Clay but apparently Clay wasn't enough. So he started to hurt himself but that still wasn't enough so he slowly stopped eating.

He starved himself.

George started of with a simple diet but from then it led to only having breakfast and dinner. Then only dinner and now he only has coffee and a fruit of some sort on a daily basis. Then excess exercise. He wouldn't really do push ups or go on the treadmill but instead he would go on very long walks in the park. Suddenly he got exhausted and now he can barely get out of his bed. Clay was the one and only reason he would get out of bed. So since he figured he wasn't 'working out' anymore; he just cut his diet even shorter. Before on a rare occasion he would have toast or maybe even a bagel but now any form of food makes his feel sick.

He has a journal where he monitors his weight. Every day he will weigh himself to make sure that he isn't gaining any weight but only loosing weight. George looked like a skeleton at this point. But lucky for him, you can only see his shoulders and upwards on video recordings and on streams. The brunette was never really a fan of t-shirts either. It showed too much of his 'fat' arms. He preferred to wear large hoodies so that way no one could really see how much he weighed and how 'fat' he was.

George knew that he had developed a terrible eating disorder, but he chose not to accept it. He never visited his family because he didn't want his mom and sister to see him this way. He didn't want his mom and sister to feel guilt. He wasn't that type of person. George didn't feel the need to rant about his boring sad life to someone. In shorter words, he didn't need a pity party. And he never told Clay because he didn't want to push his problems onto other people. Clay always told George that 'he could tell him anything and it won't change their friendship'. But George knew it was a lie. As soon as he told Clay about his eating disorder; Clay would unfriend him and never talk to him again. Then his whole fanbase will find out and unsubscribe and he will be left with nothing. His career would be over. After that he would go broke and have to move back in with his abusive father and then what will happen next? Will he just stay there and let his dad wear him out? And then he would be left dead on his kitchen floor slowly bleeding out? Of-course none of this would actually happen. But George always feared the worse. The absolute
worst.

Sometimes he wondered if it would be better to end it all.

It would be easier for him.

But what about the people around him? Would it affect them? Would they even give a fuck?

"No, no, no. Please don't do this to me. I shouldn't have let this happen, its all my fault" George said with tears in his eyes. He got off his scale to jot down his new weight. And tears were dropping onto his journal as he did. He could barely even write in a straight line. His hands were wobbling all about. George has gained 2kg. He couldn't even remember the last time he gained any weight at all. But now he thinks that he has 'let himself go'. Ever since him and Clay had become famous. He had been eating a tiny bit more than usual. The brunette assumed that he already burned all the calories of by running on his by constantly throwing up all his food, but apparently not.

He ran into his bathroom cabinet to get these pills that he got from Tesco. 'Anti Weight Gain'. George grabbed about 5 of them and tossed them into his mouth hoping that he would be able to lose all of the 'excess' weight he had gained.

But he was wrong.

But he was so terribly wrong.

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887 words//
ok so if you couldn't tell, this whole chapter was mainly based on George's mental health. Again please make sure to read the 'description' so no triggers are caused; because there might be more chapters like this in the future.
Go grab a snack, get some water and have a good rest of your day/afternoon/night! :)