There It was again, this time where I just lay down and looked at my wall, the creepy simmering feeling down my body, a touch of a hand sliding over my shoulder, the feeling of a big figure behind me ready to......do it again.
I get up quickly and turn on the light. Takes my hand up to my heart, and looks around frustrated. "Okay there is nothing" "you okay" I whispered to myself to try to get my heart beating normally again.
"It just me inside my lonely room no one but me"
I crawl into the bed again this time with a light on.
I return looking into the wall, holding tight to my arm where the feeling of a person touched me a little while ago.
Still trying to slow down my very fast beating heart, with taking deep breaths.
It usually works, it's just a long process, which I wish I could just get rid of this completely, but somehow, it's become a part of me, no matter if I like it or not.
So here I am, just trying to live with a constant fear of experiencing it all over again.
But it's a part of life.
Learning to live with the consequences that I was not even my fault.
I hear a small hum in the back of my head, and discover a small light from my phone.
I reached out after my phone, it was a reminder. "Out to Camilla at 3pm"
I turn off the phone again and turned my back to it and return to my blank wall.
Camilla is my advisor, or whatever you want to call her. At least she's the one I talk to once a week.
It just was not exactly what I wanted today, or again today. It's not because I feel like dragging myself out there every time to just talk about the same thing over and over again.
I always feel we do not understand each other. Camilla is the most Friendliest woman on earth. But she's just never been the right one for me, she have never made me open up. Or just what I made her do.
But they also say "you can not help those who do not want to be helped"
YOU ARE READING
PTSD
Teen Fiction"I don't remember much, But he did it when i couldn't do anything, i was helpless, i was only 3 years Old.". Flashback hits me like a hard stone came flying against my face. I see his dark hair I see his blue eyes look at me and show no regret and...
