Sweetheart Retreat

Sometime, You Get What You've Always Been Wishing For

"Harry, please don't make me go with you!" Louis complains while he plays FIFA in their apartment living room.
"Louis, it's not like you have nothing to show for yourself! We've done really well since high school! And I need you to come with me, I can't face everyone on my own. Pleasssse, I'll buy us pizza on Sunday," Louis harumphed, paused his game, and looked over his shoulder.
"Okay, fine. But you have to pick our my outfit. I'm not wearing a work suit and I don't want to look like my style hasn't changed since we graduated from high school."
"Your style hasn't changed since high school," Louis flipped Harry off, was back to his game, and Harry was smiling as he moved to look through his closet for something Louis would like.
Their ten-year high school reunion was coming up, and Harry really wanted to go. High school had been a bad time for him. It was bad for everyone right? But it was especially bad for Harry. So he wanted to go. He had to face his demons. That's what Josh, his therapist, told him. Of course, Josh had been less dramatic and had only suggested that Harry face his fears if he was feeling up to it, but high school had been hell. So these were demons. Harry didn't make the rules.
Plus, Harry really had been preparing for this. For like a long time now. It was going to be good for him. It would show him that no one really meant the things they'd said or done back then. He could finally forgive everyone, maybe he'd get an accurate picture of himself, and he could finally, finally, move on. High school was the last place he wanted his mind to dwell, but it always came back to that.
"Harry, pass me the crisps, mate?" Louis waved at Harry over his shoulder, still engrossed in his video game. Louis and Harry had met when they were in their 6th year. Both their mothers had recently gotten divorced and had chosen to relocate to New York. It wasn't the city. Everyone from Homles Chapel always thought they lived in the city, but it was upstate. Just a small town called Berne, population 2,794. Jay and Anne had known each other from school and rented a small place together with their kids until they both got on their feet here in the U.S. and then Anne moved out with Harry and Gemma. That was years ago now. But Harry and Louis had got on so well that they'd never really needed anyone else. They were best mates. They went to school together, they always had someone to sit next to at lunch, and it wasn't hard until year 9.
But everyone knows that American schools suck, and Harry tries not to think back about his time at Berne-Knox-Westerlo Secondary School. It's the stuff of nightmares. But he's thinking about it now because it's been ten years. He and Louis moved to Brooklyn, they have a nice place, and they both went to university. They have nothing to be worried about.
"I think I've picked your outfit and you're not allowed to touch it with greasy fingers from your crisps. Sorry, Lou!" Louis just scoffed but kept playing. He was winning of course, but he'd see it through before giving Harry any attention. Harry didn't blame him. This was how Louis decompressed after working all day at the court of appeals. Being an attorney wasn't easy. Louis seemed to enjoy it, but it still gave him plenty to stress about.
"What am I supposed to eat then?"
"How about the dinner I made."
"That's got all sorts of vegetables and weird grains that you keep saying are good for me, but I just think it leaves my stomach feeling unsettled," Louis continues to complain, but Harry knows he'll eat. He always does. And Harry doesn't mind the teasing. Louis loves him. Of that Harry is absolutely certain. That's why he can make it through this reunion. Because Louis loves him.

------

"You alright, Haz?" Louis is putting out his cigarette on the wall of their old high school while Harry stares, motionless and wide-eyed.
"I don't think I can do it, Lou. We shouldn't have come."
"Nonsense! This is going to be a great time, we can do this."
"No, no I can't," Louis can see the beginning of a panic attack, Harry's breathing is starting to hitch, his hands are beginning to shake. This won't do, not at all.
"Harry, Hazza, listen," Louis takes Harry's face between both his hands. "We can do this. We're gonna do it together. Just breath, babe. Just breath. I promise you that we can do this. No one in there is going to hurt you, Haz. Do you trust me?" Harry closes his eyes and nods. It's been a long time since Harry has had a full-blown panic attack, and Louis doesn't want it to be here. The last time was at this god-forsaken school, and he won't have it happen again.
"I'm so scared Louis. I knew I was going to be scared, but I feel paralyzed." Harry's whispered confession starts an aching feeling in Louis' chest.
"I know Haz, I know. What do we need to do so we can get through this night?" They're shrouded in the shadows where none of their old classmates can see them huddled together.
"I don't-" Harry hiccups, "I don't know, Louis I don't know, I need you to do something I can't do this, Louis please," Louis presses their foreheads together and breathes with Harry.
"In and out, love. In and out. Breath for me baby," Louis doesn't know what to do. Harry's whole body is shaking. "What if, um, what if we make it a game?" Louis doesn't know what he's saying.
"A game?" Harry meets his eyes.
"Yeah, a game. What if, uh, what if we pull a prank on all those wankers from school? 'Bout time we did something like that to 'em!" Harry's eyes crinkle around his smile.
"What kind of prank? We didn't prepare anything?"
"Something that will really get them, uh, um, how about we, uh, oh! I know! Let's tell them we're dating! No one would have thought it in school and it'll be a real shock for everyone. Plus then we can avoid the singles conversations, it'll save us in the end." Harry looks skeptical, but Louis is feeling right proud of himself. That's not a bad prank.
"I don't know, that doesn't seem like much of a prank Louis. We used to get teased for that sometimes," Harry seems unsure, but Louis just feels it. He knows this is going to be a good idea.
"But if we tell them we're together then they won't make us sit at separate tables, and we won't have to talk to different groups of people if we don't want to. Eh?" Harry's smiling now as he considers it.
"I guess it's not a terrible idea," he's trying not to give in, but Louis knows he's won this time.
"Oi! It'll be fun! What's the worst that can happen? They say they always knew we were gay? We always knew too!"
"Well, technically I"m bisexual, Louis. You know that I prefer that term."
"I know, I know! But you can hear what I'm saying, yeah? There isn't anything they can tell us that will be worse than what they've done before. And we're tougher now. We can have a united front. C'mon Harry," Louis holds his hand out to Harry, who smiles and intertwines their fingers.
"This is going to backfire."
"How could this backfire! You're wearing a pink suit, and I convinced you not to force me into a suit coat!"
"You could have looked great in the suit coat, and you shouldn't have worn your black tank under the white shirt. It ruins the whole image."
"It's more me, love. Come on, let's show 'em how great our lives have become." And Louis leads the way back into the doors of hell.