Wiping the fog off the mirror and looking at the reflection of how gross and a mess I've became led me to almost jumping off a building. But that hasn't happened yet. This is what was happening.
•
My names Charlie, and I am your average 16 year old low key wanting to shoot someone that ever looks at me. I wouldn't say I don't like school I just don't like the people , with their thrill to thrive for sex and to look like BEYONCÉ or Justin beiber . I like to choose my own style with combat boots black jeans and sweatshirts, my style is what got me to meet my amazing friends , we like to stay on the outskirts of the halls in school besides Ramona , shes 17 and something I would call an attention whore that actually has a sense of humor. I've been friends with her since I was about 10. My other jerk off of a friend Bryan is 17 going to 18 and God, he's an asshole . Always stubborn and alive at the same time, maybe his stubbornness was brought due to his dad that beats him, we all found out last summer when we were at his house and we were in his room when he came storming in telling us to sneak out through the window when his dad came in the room and actually beat him up in his own room in front of us . Last time we ever went nor was invited to his house again. My friend James has known me since we were baby's , he's the only one that actually understands me , when I was about 8 i moved for two years to newyork cause my dad had a job their , when we moved back to California James was actually the only one excited to see me . Were like the three musketeers but add another , we like to play games about how we run the school even though we minded our business most of the time .
"Have you ever actually felt love, like the real love. Not the fake shit were all you wanna do is fuck and make-out" Ramona says while she smokes a cigarette, I just stare at her as we walk to school.
"I mean I gu-"
"Like we're you just can't stop looking at them. Like you forget everything else but them. Have you ever felt that Charlie?"
I start to hesitate as I think about what she actually is trying to get at, but before I can answer she goes on again. "love is so stupid, its actually funny to see people in love, how can they be so blind?" As i glance at her, i see pain in her eyes, as if what she is saying applies more to her self than others.
Before i know it were already at school and i already have headaches, as soon as we get on campus Ramona vanishes into another crowd like she does every morning. From there on i am alone until i get to my 3rd period and that's when i see James. then p.e which i prefer to skip most days but some i might as well get the daily exercise, p.e is when i see Bryan. school is a big mess for me. i usually don't pay attention to anything but where i walk, i mostly have my headphones in. i don't eat lunch usually, it looks like they shoot birds in the back and mush them with horse meat and mashed potatoes. id rather not die at school thank you. usually after school i take the bus home and once im home my mom is usually asleep,my parents separated after i moved back,saying that its been just me and my mom.
Everyday is a bunch of bullshit being shoved in my face constantly.
•••
"Dude, have you seen her blog updates. Their freaking hilarious" I glance at the time in the corner of my laptop and its 3:00am and I'm still awake talking to Adam.
"No, my mom took my computer for the week cause she found my stash of weed under my pillows."
"Well of course that's gonna happen. You've been acting weird ever sense you started fucking around at night , what did you expect , your mom is totally gonna search you" I start to laugh remembering the times when me and Adam got in trouble when we were little.
"I guess . Yo I have to go my mom is bugging at my door again. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Alright see ya-" before I could say goodbye he hangs up. I know it's wrong to think, but sometimes I feel as if my friends don't really wanna talk to me. And are happy when they don't have to talk to me. People in the pass always said I'm easy to let go, but hard to forget.
"Charlie, Charlie it's time to get up honey."
As I pull my sheets over my head I stare at my ceiling.
"Another day of hell"
