"You can live without me, right?"
Those were the last words that I heard from him when he let his tears fall down on my face. I could still feel the softness of his lips when it touched my cheeks and forehead. If only I could open my eyes. I would have been able to see his face one last time.
"End of simulation," the automated machine said before everything went quiet.
I took off the headset, sat down, and smiled at the woman standing behind the machine support.
"Your smile is bigger than yesterday," she commented. Her hands were fast to assist me and take the apparatuses from my hand.
"Is it?" I asked with a soft voice.
She nodded her head upon putting aside the things that I used for this session. Then I thought to myself, maybe she was right, I feel a lot happier today than I was yesterday. Or even compared to the other days that passed.
"So, off to work?" the familiar voice called me out of my trance.
It made me smile and nod my head at her. That has become my new schedule for the last 5 years. It helped me forget the feeling of loneliness. The feeling of giving up because he was now gone.
"Alright then, I would see you tomorrow Mrs. Anders."
"I'll see you tomorrow." I stood up from the bed before fixing my attire and taking my purse.
Since I'm always here, almost everyone in this facility knows who I am and I know who they are. They basically became a family to me too and I'm not even complaining because I'm happy with them.
After I left the facility I went straight to my office and went on with my day. Nothing strange has happened today but when the cab I was riding took the road where Robert and I usually go for a morning walk, I vividly recalled the memory.
It somehow brought me to tears since I'm not very good at handling my emotions especially the strong ones and that one was extreme. That was the area where he finally knelt down in front of me and asked me to marry him. It is very special obviously.
~~~
"The words I don't love to hear, just say them softly. 'Cause I can't bear to listen to it," Robert whispered to my ears. "But if you can't say goodbye, I understand. Just tell me."
I felt his skin make contact with my cheek before there was a pained chuckle that came past his lips.
"You can live without me, right?"
A tear came rolling down my cheek as I closed my eyes tightly. I was able to take this yesterday, I didn't tear up as much as I do now, what happened to me?
Only the sound of me sniffling was heard inside of the dead silent room. Another minute had passed before the familiar feeling of getting detached from the memory came to me. The session has ended.
"Are you okay, Beth?" the machine operator asked as she approached me.
Unlike the usual, she didn't take the apparatuses from me just yet, she made sure that I'm reduced to sobbing first.
"Was it too much?"
"It was okay." I quickly reassured her. "Maybe I was just really missing him today."
Then she sighed in a way that tells me she cares for me and not because she was blaming me. It was a heavy feeling but for some weird reason, it made me feel light.
"Don't you think it's time to avail Tommy's offer?" From her words, I could see how worried she was for me. Maybe because what I've been doing is hurting me more rather than helping me heal.
This facility was first made for those families who lost their loved ones because of war. As time went by, every single citizen regardless a family member of someone important or someone serving for the country was able to avail the facility's offer.
Their main mission in what they're doing is for the people to be able to recover from their loss. By giving them the chance to see their loved one for the last time. And surely not everyone can do that, especially knowing that they could just see them any time they want to as long as they are paying for it.
So another businessman decided that it's time to do something that could help those who are still holding on to be able to live the same way they did. This was the project Back At One. It helps two kinds of people.
One is the grieving family and the other is someone who wants to end their life or simply gives up on their life. Project Back At One operates in simple ways. First, they would accept people who are willing to donate their body and consciousness to other people. In this case would be the family who are still grieving.
Second would be exams and approval from both parties. Spending time with each other would be a great way to build a connection thus making them sign the contract. Third will be the process of wiping out the donor's memories. This may also remove their basic knowledge such as how to talk, how to walk, and other things. After wiping out the memory, the donor would undergo another process but this time the memories of the dead relative or loved one will be transferred to the donor.
Last step would be recovery. It was called Project Back At One because the donor would basically reset to the first step of human life. They will undergo therapy if the family isn't capable of taking care of the donor. They would also attend a school provided by the same business in order for them to get back to their feet faster.
Once fully recovered and functioning like how the donor should be, 100,000 dollars would be deposited in an account under the donor's name as the payment for his/her donation. Only the donor is allowed to use that money even if they choose to spend it for the family.
The other month, a guy working in that organization already approached me offering me a chance to see my husband again. However, I was too scared to try it so I turned it down immediately.
I never really thought of it ever since until it was mentioned again today. Which now makes me think, should I take it now? After 5 years, have I finally given up? Can't I live without him now?
