“I like your jacket” Ms Kimberly said complimenting me.
“Thank you” I mumbled under my breath expressionless.
“It’s the first you wear something apart of your grey sweater”
My eyes went from her smiling face to my brown leather.
“I went straight from class” I answered and glance at her then looking down at my black painted nails.
“Extra classes?” I nodded watching her crossing her legs and leaning back on the couch still flashing her pearly white teeth smile.
“So, is there anything you want to share or talk about?” I shook my head and stay mute at the same question she would asked in every session for the past years. Then I would give the same answered.
I only entered the room less than 10 minutes and I already thinking of leaving. If it wasn’t for Mom, I wouldn’t be sitting here spending an hour every Tuesday evening to discuss my problem. I sighed and looked outside the window, wondering if I had a superpower I would move the tall building that blocking my sight. But above all I think I would disappear to somewhere no people live. I’m surprised that Ms Kimberly hasn’t giving up after a year try to dug something from me and get me to speak which the same situation happen every time.
“I have something for you” Ms Kimberly announced standing and walking towards her desk grabbed something on the desk.
“Here” I stared at the medium size book that had black leather as cover before I slowly take it from her. I looked up at her giving her the quizzical look.
“I’d like to know about what you think everyday” She said.
I put the book on my lap and opening it up slowly page by page. It was all clean white and the smell of new book hit my nose. So she can’t get me to talk about my feelings and now writing a journal? I sighed. So this is why the last session she asked me whether I keep a journal or not.
“But I am not pushing you into this. It doesn’t have to be everyday, it can be anytime you feels like”
I closed the book and lifted my gaze meeting her. There will be no difference after all even if she gave me this book for purpose as her answered to get what she wanted to know all this time. She might end up upset. We fell silent and I just played with the hem of my jacket.
“Okay how about this, you write me something and in return you don’t have to sit through an hour session” that got my attention. She leaning back folding her arms.
“But you need to submit it for me to read once in a week” she tilted her head to one side trying to make a deal. I bit my bottom lips contemplating.
“I can assure you that reading it won’t take much of your time” she said convincing. For me she made up a pretty good deal since she knew too well that I don’t like stuck in this office for an hour. But writing for her to read? I don’t know. Honestly I never write a journal even own one. I guess a little bit changes won’t hurt is it?
It’s better to be outside than sitting here. So I decided to take the offer.
“I’ll write” I said quietly almost can’t be heard but Ms Kimberly bounce a little in her seat meant she heard me.
“You’ll write at least one page or more it’s up to you” I nodded my head. It’s weird to write a journal for someone else to read.
