The Dream

10.

Now that she was done with Dev, should she be thinking about Shiva or would it be too soon? This wasn't like a real breakup. Dev didn't need a grace period before she could start thinking about other guys. In fact, he had been dating a girl throughout they time they were engaged. She suddenly remembered she was still wearing his ring. Raavi took off the ring and gave it back to Dhara di. She was helping Dhara di in the kitchen.

Raavi's mind drifted back to her and Shiva's almost kiss. She had never felt such intensity before. Every fibre of her entire body was reacting to his touch. She had never felt this way about Dev. Raavi liked Dev, but she never loved him. It was a late realisation, but she was glad it came before it was too late. And she was glad that Shiva made her understand that she didn't actually spend that much time with Dev. That was the realisation which made her doubt her love for Dev.

"Raavi doodh ubal raha hai!" Dhara turned gas on low. "Tu yaha kya kar rahi hai. Maine kaha tha na Shiva se bhi baat karna. Toh jaa."

"Dhara di, main kya bolu use?" Raavi asked. "Matlab, kya Shiva ke liye kuch hai bhi ki main aise hi soch rahi hu?

"Raavi inn kuch dono mein maine apni aankhon se dekha hai. Teri nazre sirf use dhoondhti hai, tere zubaan pe bas uska naam hota hai, aur use dekhte hi tera chehra khil uthta hai. Sara waqt toh tu usi ke saath bitati hai."

Before Raavi could say anything, Shiva walked into the kitchen. Raavi still had trouble maintaining eye contact with him. Every time she looked at him, she would think back on their almost kiss and their physical proximity.

"Yeh chipkali abhi bhi yahi chipki hui hai?" Shiva asked.

"Dev ke saath rishta khatam ho gaya toh kya humare saath bhi khatam ho gaya? Raavi humari thi aur humari rahegi."

Raavi hugged her Dhara di.

"Dekha, main tujhe chorke aur iss ghar ko chorke kabhi nahi jaa rahi." Raavi said.

"Bakwaas mat kar aur jaa yaha se." Shiva said. "Nahi, mat jaa. Aaj main party dunga tere aur Dev ki shaadi tootne ki. Aur main Bholenath ko Rs.1000 ka prasad bhi chadhaunga."

"Dhara di, dekha aapne yeh kaisi baat kar raha hai?" Raavi complained.

"Ab main tum dono ke beech kabhi kuch nahi bolungi. Tum dono sort out karlo apni problems." Dhara switched off the gas and left them alone to talk.

Raavi stood nervously staring at Shiva. They were finally alone after their almost kiss again, but now what? What was the nature of their relationship at this very moment?

"Ghoor kya rahi hai? Khayegi kya?"

Raavi couldn't believe how she was feeling at this very moment. She wanted to kill him and kiss him at the same time. But she couldn't kiss him before she truly made sure she loved him, and he loved her. Shiva wasn't exactly expressive, but she had to make sure. She didn't want to make the same mistake she made with Dev.

"Ab silent mode pe kyu chali gayi?"

Raavi wasn't ready to talk to Shiva yet. She first needed to understand her own feelings about him, she decided. Her relationship with Shiva was too pure to be tainted with uncertainty. She needed to speak to someone about this Shiva situation.

"Mera mann." Raavi said. "Mujhe ghar jaana hai abhi. Hey bhagwaan! Maasi ko toh heart attack aa jayega jab main unhe bolungi ki maine Dev se shaadi tod di."

"Uss maami ka na ek heart attack bhi kuch nahi bigaad sakti."

"Abhi mujhe tujhse baat nahi karni. Main jaa rahi hu ghar!"

Raavi abruptly stopped talking and left for her own house. Her maami was going to create a scene today, but it was inevitable so she'd better get done with it now.

As she entered her house, she found all three members in the living room. Prafulla had applied a turmeric mask on her face to get ready for mehendi rasam.

"Maasi, Mausapa, maine Dev se shaadi tod di." Raavi announced

"Kyu? Ae Raavi, usne kuch kiya kya? Uss ke haath pair tod dungi main." Maasi said.

"Dev koi galti nahi hai. Main Dev se pyaar nahi karti!"

"Kya? Abhi kuch din pehle toh chikh chikh se boli jaa rahi thi ki tu usse pyaar karti hai aur agar shaadi nahi karayi teri usse toh tu apni jaan de degi."

"Woh tab bola tha maine par aaj maine realise kiya ki main Dev se pyaar nahi karti!" Raavi replied.

"Itne paise kharch karake, uss Suman bein se maafi mangaake tujhe shaadi hi nahi karni! Hey bhagwaan kuch karo iss ladki ka! Kuch akal do ise."

Raavi asked her mausa and Anita to take over and calm her Maasi down. Meanwhile she went to her room, and started daydreaming about her almost kiss with Shiva again!

"Chalo achha hai tujhe akkal toh aayi." Anita came to her room.

"Aapko aur Dhara di ko kaise pata chala?" Raavi asked.

"Hum dono tujhe bachpan se jaante hai Raavi." Anita said. "Aur waise bhi bohot obvious tha. Dhara ka toh nahi pata par maine kaafi der se notice kiya. Agar pehle ki kar leti toh shayad baat itni aage nahi badhti. Tune Shiva se baat ki?"

"Anita di, mujhe Shiva ka kuch samajh nahi aa raha." Raavi said. "Matlab use dekhte hi bilkul alag si feeling ho rahi hai. Aur aap toh Shiva ko jaante ho, kitna bara bhootnath hai woh. Usse toh baat karke bhi koi fayda nahi."

"Dekh Raavi, Shiva teri problem hai. Aur tujhe bohot achhe se aata hai usse baat karna, aur usse baat manwana."

"Haa par mujhe meri feelings samajh nahi aa rahe. Main bachpan se leke aajtak uss ki dost banna chahti thi, par usne mujhe dushman ka tag de diya. Phir main use devar banana chahti thi, par woh manne ko taiyyar nahi tha. Par kal ke almost kiss ke baad, devar ka toh sawaal bhi nahi uthta hai. Bas ise dekhte hi dil ki dhadkan tez ho jaati hai."

"Ek minute. Almost kiss matlab? Woh tujhe kiss karne wala tha?" Anita asked, shocked.

"Haa Anita di. Aur kal se main uss almost kiss ke sapne dekhe jaa rahi hu."

Anita wanted to slam her head against the wall. This girl was thinking about kissing Shiva, yet she was still confused about her own feelings? Shiva was right to call her a gadheri. Anita was at least grateful that this wasn't a one sided deal. She had some hope. If Raavi could figure out about her feelings for Dev, she could definitely figure out her feelings for Shiva. She also knew how to speed up the process.

"Tu jaldi apni feelings ko samajh le Raavi warna Shiva ko koi aur kiss kar legi." Anita said and left Raavi's room.

Her plan worked. Raavi immediately started thinking about this other hypothetical girl who would kiss her Shiva. She couldn't let that happen! Shiva was hers and only hers. But what if like Dev, he started dating some other girl? Raavi couldn't lose him. But how would she know if she loved him?