Doctor Lee (ON-GOING)

01

01. Childhood Memories

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday our dear Meriam!" My family and my visitors cheering loudly at me as I'm going to blow my birthday cake. Confettis were popped around making this place more colorful.

They gave me an around of applause when I finally blew the candle. Everything was perfect. My 7th birthday became memorable, the memory I want to go back multiple times if I would given a chance.

Everything was still good that time. I'm happy to be with my family, my grandparents were still alive though my biological parents died earlier but my grandparents were still there, they served as my guardian instead.

I'm a cheerful, bright and a kind kid back then but when an unfortunate events happened to our family everything has changed. It feels like I became an orphan again. No family to lean on. No family to cry on. No family that I can call home.

Madilim ang pasilyo dahil hatinggabi na. I'm still on my grandparents' funeral, marami pa ring nakikiramay. Some of them are higher officials of Bhelletaine and some are regular citizens.

I feel numb, I don't know what emotions to feel right now. It was mixed with sadness, desperation, guilt, agony and misery. I just want to disappear and be with my grandparents wherever they are. This pain was overwhelming and I can't grasp this anymore.

My relatives were also blaming me for what happened to my grandparents. Siguro nga kasalanan ko nga ito, siguro nga deserve ko itong nararamdaman ko ngayon. Kahit sa huling hantungan ay hindi ko pa rin matanggap na wala na ang mga taong pinakamamahal ko. They were only the one who care for me, they always love me unconditionally pero bakit sila pa ang kailangan mawala? bakit hindi na lang ako?

Kahit ako na lang dahil wala na rin naman akong maiiwanan, pero sila kapag nawala, ako lang ang maiiwan mag-isa.

My tears poured down to my face as soon as the men start burying my grandparents' grave. Hindi ko na alam kung saan pa ako huhugot nang lakas. I'm trembling in fear and in sorrow. Lahat nang naipon kong lakas parang nawala na lang na parang bula. They both left me in this cruel world.

3 Months Later

"Packed your things Aurelia and leave this place! We don't need a disgraceful kid here in this family! From now on you can never step here at Villa without our permission!" Auntie Madonna was enraged. Dali dali ding sumunod ang mga maid dahil sa takot na baka masesante nang tita ko.

My whole family stared at me with disappointment. They were all seem judging me in their minds without knowing the real situation.

I got into fight and no one asked me if I'm okay? Ni hindi nga nila inusisa kung bakit ako nakipag-away! Ang nakikita lang nila yung pagkakamaling nagawa ko. Kesyo namatay lang sila lolo at lola naging pariwara na buhay ko. That was not the reason! Ang mga taong nakapaligid ang siyang dahilan kung bakit ako nagkakaganito! Sila ang dahilan kung bakit nawawalan ako nang rason to be good in this world. Hindi naman ako makikipag-away kung hindi ako sinabihan nang kaklase ko na pabigat at dahilan nang pagkamatay nang grand parents and parents ko. They were all accusing me and it keeps tormenting me!

They always blame me for the things I haven't done! They always demand for sorry kahit na hindi ko naman kailangang mag-sorry! I'm not playing a victim here pero sumosobra na. They are all invalidating my feelings, they are all invalidating ME. Lahat nang bagay nakakapagod na.

I was 19 years old back then. Magpasalamat pa raw ako sa kanila dahil they let me live in Orchard Palace- which is one of our family's property. Why would I thank them when I myself have the right at all to live here? Kahit ano pang sabihin nila, The Andrada runs in my blood and I owe nothing to them!