friends with benefits/ bucky barnes x civilian reader

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟖 ➳ 𝐖𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬... 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬

18 + Sexually content.

y/n POV

You know that feeling you have after you had sex with someone? I assumed I would feel t after I had sex with bucky, but I didn't. Instead of feeling good and all that, i felt more awkward and ashamed... which when I think about it... is osmething i've felt before when i had sex... but not like this.

I don't know if it was because I fucked him so casually and just because I wanted to... or the fact that trying to stay friends with him now after would be so hard. 

Either way, I really didn't wanna go to work today, because I knew he was going to be there. But, I can't afford not to go to work, maybe if I got that part in Mamma Mia, but my audition isn't until friday... and I like expensive things so I had no other choice than to show up.

Author P.O.V

But he never showed up today, he'd always go here to eat lunch at 12 am, but he never did. You even waited to see if he was just late, but time went by and no Bucky. He didn't even show up to dinner at 6....

He didn't even come back to the diner for a couple of days because he's too nervous at the idea of talking to you. He to, felt it would be awkward to just stay friends now after fucking you.

He was never fond of the idea of having a long commitment relationship, not even in the 1940s... whenever he had fucked a girl he'd just start to ignore her or had Steve say he wasn't boyfriend material. But you were his friend, he can't just say that he wants to stay friends with you... because you're already his friend.

He finally came back and sat at his usual table. You almost drop a platter filled with cups when you see him... shit, what were you going to say to him? Gosh, it was so awkward now.. so you just tried to be a waitress.

"Hey, I'm y/n i'm gonna be your waitress this evening" you told him and he looked at you with confusion. "Why are you introducing yourself?" he asked you that, and you didn't have a good answer to that so you just stayed quiet. He was quiet too, until Bucky finally broke the awkward tension "so it's weird for you to, huh?" Bucky said "yes" you said with a groan, taking a seat in front of him in the booth.  "I mean, it was crazy and we shouldn't have done it" Bucky said and you agreed by nodding your head "I mean, it's not really my thing..." you said and he nodded, as a sign to say that he agreed with you.

"I totally agree. Let's forget it happened" Bucky said and you nodded "I mean, just the whole idea of you and me could have sex without letting it compromising, was just so... " he finished the sentence for you "misguided".

"I was gonna call you this morning" bucky said "But you didn't" you finished for him. "I didn't..." he said "and you see it's already coming between us and I really... I just don't want it to. Because I think you're a great guy Bucky, and I want to continue being your friend" you said. 

"I know I act all tough but really..." you said and he finished it "it is just a front to protect yourself from your own vulnerability." You glared at him "what are you, my therapist?" You laughed and he shook his head.

"No, I'm your friend. Who knows your  secret language by the way" he said proudly, you eyed him "my secret language?" he said and he nodded "your 'hmmm'.." he made an impression of you when you used to say that "...means ' shut up i'm not in the mood to talk, and your 'i don't know.." Again, he does the impression of you when you say so "means.. 'I do know, I'm not just not in the mood to tell you right now, maybe later'. And I also know, when you're in a bad mood and curse at me, it's not really because of me, it's just that you're in a bad mood and can't deal with your feelings."

You stared at him, in shock... he was literally the first friend who always understood that. Yes, you had annoying mood swings, and due to your adhd you can't deal with them. If you're mad, and someone tries to talk to you, you speak to them in a mad tone, as if you're mad at them but you really aren't... which means that sometimes they take it personally. Thinking you're mad at them and then they get angry at you and push away from you. Your lack of understanding emotions has wrecked a lot of your relationships, not only romantic relationships but also friendships.

Which is why you're so shy when it comes to making friends. Bucky is the one friend you've made in a very long time and you didn't want to lose him. No matter how hot or good he might be at sex.

"It was stupid" he told you and you agreed "we're friends, let's stay friends" he said "yes, I don't want to lose this" You told him and he nodded "me neither" he said and then some girl walked right by you and stopped by your table.

"A rose for your girlfriend?" she asked him and headed out a rose for you and next thing you know, you stormed into your apartment, your hands wrapped around his neck, his hands on your ass and lips pressed together.

He pushes you inside, putting the rose that he had bought from the lady on the table  and takes off his jacket and throws it on the floor. You break the kiss and Bucky closes the door, and you starts stripping down to a fucking white lace bra and panties and dropping to your knees on the cold floor and mouthing him through his jeans.

If it was some other girl, he would've picked you up off the floor and taken you into the bedroom where it's more comfortable, but you two are just friends! So He lets you take him out and choke on his cock while your knees grind into the floor in the hallway, telling you what a desperate little cockslut you are, how he's gonna fuck your throat raw and you're gonna thank him for it.

But that's not really what he wants either - not when he knows your asshole is a virgin - so he lets himself enjoy your mouth for a little while longer before yanking you off him with a wet pop.

"Bed," he growls, "now."

You feel like you weigh nothing as Bucky lifts you off the ground and carries you into the bedroom, tossing you like a ragdoll onto the bed as if you were a piece of meat. He makes good on his earlier promise and absolutely shreds the lingerie you're wearing, leaving you completely naked and ready for him.

You pout. "I liked that one."

"You're not my girlfriend, y/n, i don't care" he said and then buried his face between your legs. You smirked at the way he sounded different now, now he was more hungry and more animalistic, the first time he was more gentle. But that's how a romantic sex should be, but this weren't romantic, there was no romantic relationship, you and Bucky not romantic involved.

You were just friends.... with Benefits...