hah that's gay - MHA/BNHA Chatfic/Fanfic

9 | a guide to shipping (ft. minaocha)

Warnings
Swearing
Sexual joke

Mina <—> Ochaco DMs
Mina Ashido - an alien
Ochaco Uraraka - sexy

a/n
do people still say "tea"? idk, i've been living under a rock

—|—|—

Direct messages between an alien and Ochaco Uraraka
Tuesday, 4:56 PM

an alien is online

an alien changed Ochaco Uraraka's name to sexy

an alien
hey ura
u still comin over?

sexy is online

sexy
Yeah
Wait
Whats with my name?

an alien
wdym?

sexy
Yeah, you're right
Also I'm omw

an alien
good
i have tea

sexy and an alien are offline

—|—|—

Uraraka walked up to Ashido's door. She turned off her phone and shoved it in her pocket, then knocked.

Ashido pulled her into a tight hug as soon as the door opened. "Hey, girl!" She said after she let go. "In."

Uraraka was (willingly) abducted by Ashido. She immediately flopped backwards onto Ashido's bed of way too many pillows, making an oumph sound.

Ashido sat next to her, bouncing in excitement. "So," she said, clapping her hands. "I got the Bakusquad's sexualities. Well, not Bakugo's, he refused to answer, but it's fine."

Uraraka shot up. "Tell! This is progress." She sat closer to Ashido.

Ashido pulled out her phone and opened the Bakusquad group chat. She scrolled past that morning's exchange, then stopped. Scanning over the conversation to make sure she remembered it correctly, she read it off.

"Kami and Jiro are bi, Sero's questioning, and Eijiro's pan. Again, Bakubitch just said no."

Uraraka nodded. "Okay... well, Bakugo definitely put a wrench in KiriBaku..."

Ashido hummed in agreement, then added, "it might just be him being emo and angsty, or maybe he's very, very confused and deflecting."

"Or it's denial 'cause of internalized homophobia," Uraraka said.

"Yeah... but for now, we don't have conformation on any Bakugo ship attraction-wise."

Uraraka smirked. " 'Any'?" She quoted. "Bitch, we have one."

"Well, yeah, but KiriBaku makes sense! Like, Eijibabe was one of the first people at UA Bakugo actually talked to, and he obviously has a soft spot for him," Ashido rambled.

"Also, according to Deku, Kirishima is literally the only person Bakugo's let get that close to him," Uraraka said.

"Speaking of Midoriya, do you know the Dekusquad's sexualities?"

"First, 'Izucrew', we chose it 'cause it rhymes; second, no, but I do have some hunches," Uraraka explained, making hand motions as she did so.

Ashido nodded, signaling for her to continue.

Uraraka took one of Ashido's pillows and hugged it, playing with the tassels embroidered on the seams. "I think Deku is pan or omni, maybe bi, but he gives me more pan vibes than anything. Todoroki seems like he's gay, but from what I know of his childhood, he probably has no clue. Tsu is a lesbian. There's no doubt about it. And then Iida..." she trailed off and scrunched her face up in thought. "He might be straight... or maybe aroace! Though I'm not quite sure."

"And you?" Ashido asked. "You've never told me."

"Oh! I'm bi," she smiled.

"Nice," Ashido said. "And I definitely agree with those theories. Tsu is totally a lesbian."

"Like you." Uraraka shot finger guns at her, and she shot them back with a wink.

"Okay," Ashido started after a moment. "So far, we've been focusing on–"

"Oh my God, stop. You sound like Cementoss starting a lecture." Uraraka cut in.

"Hey, bitch. We've been thinkin' about all the other whores and ignoring the important shit. Whomst the fucketh do you have the hots for?"

Uraraka stifled a laugh. "I already told you! I don't like anyone."

"That's a load of bullshit right there," Ashido said with a teasing smirk.

"It isn't! I just don't have a crush on anyone!"

"Well... I don't think it's Iida, so we can cross that off the list," Ashido mused pensively, making Uraraka roll her eyes and smile.

"Maybe Tsu?" Ashido glanced at Uraraka, only missing her face grow pink because of the blush she wore.

"Okay, then Midoriya." Uraraka went red, and this time Ashido could see. "Hah! Gotcha!" She exclaimed.

"No, no, no!" Uraraka denied, sitting up straighter. "I mean, I used to, both him and Tsu, but not anymore! It was like that type of crush you have in elementary school where you don't really know them too well, but you like their energy, so you get a bit of a crush on them, but it goes away quick and you know that you like them more as a friend, y'know? It's really not that big of a deal!"

"Then why'd you blush so much?" Ashido teased.

" 'Cause it's kinda embarrassing to think of past crushes..." Uraraka said, hiding her rosy face in a pillow. She was being completely honest here. This was a bit embarrassing, and she didn't have a crush. "Also embarrassing to be accused of liking your friends."

"Yeah, sorry," Ashido hummed.

Uraraka's face morphed into a devilish smirk. "What about you?"

Ashido froze. "I–" She tried to shrug off her stutters. "I'm just here for the ships." She spoke as nonchalantly as she could.

"Like I'd believe that!" Uraraka scoffed. "You're a terrible liar."

"I'm only bad when you catch me off guard," Ashido defended, playfully hitting the other girl's shoulder. "If someone happened to ask me out, I might be okay with it, but I'm not really looking for anyone."

"Is it Hagakure?"

The nervousness in Ashido's stomach bubbled up, and she started to laugh a bit. "No, it's not." Her voice was illusorily light. "She's also straight! I have more self-preservation than that."

"Oh, it's totally Hagakure!" Uraraka's smirk was back, this time much more teasing.

"It really isn't..." Ashido couldn't stop her smile from dipping as Uraraka's eyes called for her gaze. If only you knew...

—|—|—

a/n
here ya go, folks. lesbians.

words: 970