In The Name Of Love

Chapter Eight: Sweetner

8

I've been trying really hard to learn this new life. Ricky's been supportive like I hoped and knew he would be. His support has made this whole thing slightly easier, today he told me we could go for a walk in town together. Winter's taking Autumn for the evening, I was kinda against her taking her but, Ricky reminded me that we can't risk being seen with her in public.

While Ricky and I walk together in the city, I hold his arm. The physical touch helps me stay grounded. I try not to take any deep breaths, I'm not ready to. The mere thought of blood sets me off, there's no way I'd be able to handle smelling it. As we walk down the street a man walks past me, a bit to close for my new liking.

I dig my nails into Ricky's forearm as the man walks by and I catch his scent. Ricky leans over and kisses my temple "You're doing great, angel." He whispers in my ear

I groan to myself and force myself to keep walking. We see a city bus bench, I head towards it. "I need a minute." I mumble knowing he can hear me. He helps guide me and I sit down on the cold metal bench. I hold the metal bars on the bench, the city is loud and intrusive in my head now. I feel like none of my thoughts are my own. It makes me wanna crawl in to a hole in the earth and scream.

Ricky sits with me and holds my hand. I look up at the sky and take a few deep breaths, only from my mouth.  I don't see my breath in the cold night air from the headlights of the cars driving by. "I feel like you didn't truly tell me how hard this was all gonna be."

"I don't think I could've ever fully prepared you. I could've described every single detail and you still wouldn't be prepared." He rubs my hand with his thumb. "You're doing great, I'm proud of you." He kisses my temple

I need some relief, I just don't know how or where I could get it. "Have you heard anything? You know, about your employee?" I ask nervously

"I told you," he says softly "Chris, Ryan, and I took care of it. He didn't keep in touch with his family and he just moved here. You don't have to worry."

I nod and put my head down, he presses his forehead up against mine. "We should keep walking, we can head home if you'd like." He tells me

I nod then somehow get myself to stand up, Ricky puts his hand out to me. I slowly take his hand, afraid that if I move to fast something awful will happen.

We make it home and I make my way inside and into the living room. I walk over to the couch and sit, the sound of the ticking clock that hangs in the hallway bothers me. Each tick from it feels like a poke to the brain, I didn't realize just how loud this world is. A set of footsteps come towards me, I look up and see Ricky. He gives me a reassuring grin telling me "Winter called, the baby's fine."

I nod and look over at the going fireplace, the clock's incessant ticks get replaced with the crackle from the fire. I rub my eyes "I feel like I'm losing my mind." I tell him.

"I won't let that happen, I believe in you. I know I've said that a lot but, I mean it. You're a strong woman, Luna. There's no rush, you'll learn on your own time."

"But, if I wanna see my friends, or my family, or even my job again before we move? I have little to no time."

He sighs "I know how you feel about moving, and I'm sorry about that. Unfortunately we have to, we can't risk anyone seeing Autumn and we can't risk anyone realizing we aren't getting older. It's bad enough that your parents know about Autumn, it barely helps that they think she's Chris's adopted daughter."

"It's just gonna be an adjustment, you know? Not seeing my parents or friends."

"You'll get used to it, it's all a process." He kisses my temple