sailing miles away // tomokazu

08. in the bits and fragments

kazuha watched him without making a sound. but it was this silence that gave tomo the answer.

"as i thought," he said. "you do know it."

kazuha bit into his lip, "not necessarily..."

"you're lying."

"no. i don't know what was behind the shrine. i know there was something, but i don't know what," he admitted in an exhale.

but tomo's eyes squinted like those of a snake, and he only huffed in annoyance.

"great. then you're as useless as everyone else."

he then stood up and simply marched out in the rain, his retreating back marking a darker shadow among the already abyssal darkness. perhaps it was the look of him leaving again that kazuha couldn't withstand to watch, or perhaps it was the sheer spark of a moment, but still...

kazuha spoke before he could think himself to stop.

"you buried something in there. a box. you said it was important and that you would grab it later."

tomo stopped.

slowly turning around, the rain dripped from his hair. he looked at kazuha and his eyes didn't see.

"did 'later' come?"

kazuha swallowed down.

this was not an easy type of answer. he would have to approach the topic more carefully so as not to fall into another trap. he already got near the point he could later recall in bitter regret.

but with the abyss opened wide before him, he took the dive to challenge the gravity.

"say... how much do you remember about the... cause of your memory loss?"

tomo was still standing there in the rain and staring. then, eventually, he moved and sat under the rooftop again. his face looked stern but otherwise empty again.

"nothing."

"ah."

"well, not entirely nothing. i remember a lot actually. but i can't tell if it's real memories or just my imagination."

kazuha scrunched his forehead, "okay... then what does your imagination tell you?"

tomo thought for a moment before replying, "a lot of darkness. then a burst of light. then darkness again. i also know i challenged the shogun, this i know for sure."

kazuha didn't know how to feel about this. neither did he know how to reply, but he chose to keep on breathing as he spoke quietly.

"you did challenge her. it was noon, the sun was up, everything was glowing. but a few hours before that you took the box out and went to bury it there. it was a crack of the morning."

this moment was weirdly engraved in kazuha's head. perhaps because of the red shade of the awaking sky and the cold breeze washing the leftover sleep away from him. tomo buried whatever it was with his two hands and silence so unlike him. he never explained what it was, or why he wanted it secured in that very place. and kazuha never asked, never went to check. a few hours later their eternity ended.

tomo listened quietly with a concentrated look, as if putting the bits and fragments together and each attempt costed him a drop of sweat.

he looked in pain and chose to ignore it.

"that box... do you think it's still there?"

kazuha shrugged, "it's been years."

"my last question before my head explodes," tomo then forced his head up to look kazuha in the face. "who were you that you know something that was only known to me?"