Wolves (a Harry Styles fanfic)

Show me the meaning of feeling lonely

So many words for the broken heart, it's hard to see in a crimson love, so hard to breathe - backstreet boys
Madison's POV in mind.
It's so hard to breathe or even live without him every reason for life seemed to disappear and my heart harden to the outside world and pull me into the same shell I started in with new walls put up harder than any brick! When I had harry it had for once seemed purposeful ...., but now every breath I take in hurts so much more tearing me apart searing holes in my silver soul and golden heart. Penetrating my once happy life with turmoil and regret. I seemed hateful toward the world except for the small amount of friends that pulled me into their embrace trying to let go and cry on their shoulders ... Me the person who rarely cries in front of anyone suddenly bursts not because of full complete trust always but just because I feel more broken beyond repair than ever and my strength for once broke down . Maybe my dream was right , he had left me to break which to me was worse than ever being beaten , even if my ex hadn't shown himself yet it was only a matter of time but right now I'd rather not care for I had lost what I cared about deeply .

In the past few days I had not only balled hard but got too sick to go anywhere I didn't even feel like it... Yet again I wouldn't try with me throwing up several ti-
I cut my thoughts off I had been really SICK and quite EMOTIONAL ...I couldn't be could I thinking back to my dream ....this is insane but , finally I called Gemma and told her what I was thinking and asked something of her I never thought I'd be asking anyone
.... To help me do a pregnancy test ..., I gulped at the thought ...
-------------later -----
Gemma and I awaited the results , and by the look on her face and from what she told me Haz would be in real big trouble for what he caused me... I had some hopes for no and some for yes. If a yes I had no doubt I'd be facing those greens orbs so similar to mine once again whether they would be with love in them or hate was unclear .
A couple minutes later it became clear I would definitely see them again as it was positive , but the eyes that were slightly angry now were mine and Gemma's because of what he did without even trying to apologize although the boys who were told everything said he had become desperate and almost seemed empty,that he had been balling just as much as I and now prone to fits of anger during practice ... Had this made us both bitter? I knew eventually I'd find out the hard way ...

Authors POV present - The boys sat down to one of their practices , well most of them Harry had been sulking in another room seemingly in his own world in spite of what was happening either he knew and just didn't care or the regret that covered the whole of his thoughts , his being blocked it out . Several times the boys or Simon had tried to talk to the curly headed boy with green eyes full of relentless tears but nothing seemed to break this wall that darkened the boys once cheerful and joking personality . His thoughts were with her , the one he hurt , the one he loved , the one who had been successful in brightening and completing his world, hopes and dreams. Their eyes had once held such pure and wonderful promises of forever and that had been reality but now that he had broken it and made her broken it seemed more of a fierce nightmare clinging to him like a demon trying to get rid of light and hold on to darkness... It had been the only truly horrible mistake he had made and making it not only broke her trust but rebounded to hit him . He knew the people around him could not help the only help he needed was the forever he needed to break free , his mate and true love , the princess and his queen. He needed his baby girl Madi. He had had enough of the bothering presences around he yelled enough and growled at the world! Harry Styles stomped away from his friends with tears falling and gathering fast then he drove away to his flat to be alone .... Not knowing the news that would soon hit his ears and make his heart pound...he lay alone on his big bed hoping for something to turn things around or to wake up like it was just a dream ....
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Aww but seriously tho that last part was like the 5sos song amnesia 😏