In Control

Day 45

   Me and Matt are sitting next to each other in class, his hand on my knee swirling his nails on my skin tickling me. "Don't laugh, don't giggle."
    I clench my dress trying to keep quiet, my heart racing so fast as i try to learn at the same time.
   "Anna what demon is this and what religion?"
  "Ummm it is Gorgon, Greek mythology."
     "Very good." Matt stop and write it down, i take a deep breathe getting a rest for a moment, his hand comes back starting again, a huge smile on my face.
     "Alright that does it for today, Anna and Matt yall are killing it in this class!"
  "Yeah and in bed to i bet!" Some guys yells out, i look at Matt confused, he chuckles
    "I guess people are noticing us together huh?"
      I look at Windle and he smirks shaking his head, us three walk out together,
   "Why would he say that, we don't even kiss... We just hang out."
   "Oh girl stop, we all know yall have been bumping uglies."
  Windle says, i look at Matt and he shakes his head,
  "No, we haven't but, I'm happy they think so, no one will mess with you."
  Windle looks shocked, "Yall haven't done anything?!"
  Matt kisses my cheek walking away, i look at Windle.
   "We still haven't kissed since the first time...."
  "Wow, that's really hard to believe yall look so intimate"
     "Why are people starring at me?"
   "You have the hottest bad boy drooling over you, why do you think they are starring, guys are wondering what magic you have between your legs and girls are jealous Matt seems to be off the market."
    MY stomach knots up, Windle pushes me to walk with him,
  "It's a good thing, don't be so scared."
   "I just, i don't know what we are even doing, me and Matt..."
   "Well if you want more all you have to do is make a move baby."
   I sigh nodding, i get my phone out and text Matt.
      "Come over tonight?"
    "Ill be there." I smirk and put my phone away, i go to the mall with Windle.
  "What are we doing here?" He asks,
  "I want to dress up for Matt, i want to take things to the next level."
  "Oh my god! You are going to have sex with him!"
  I cover Windle's mouth as people look at us, i laugh shaking my head.
  "Tell the whole world why don't you!"
    He chuckles, "I am so excited for you!"
   "I am scared but, I'm ready even though we are not a couple i want to do it so badly."
   "I'm sure he will ask you to be his after, no worries."
   I nod following him into a lingerie  i try on a few but, i don't like how reviling they are i want to be sexy but, not show him everything all at once.
    "Put this one on." I take it and put it on, I smile so big and open the door. Windle smiles so big. "Girl if i was not gay id be all over you right now."
       "I think this is the one..."
   He claps his hand, "Get dressed so i can help you with your hair and your room."
   I do as he says and we head back to the dorm and get me ready, my heart wont stop racing, god I am so nervous it is killing me!
  "Okay, you look like a hot ass angel! He is going to love this so much!"
  "I am so nervous, what if he doesn't like my body."
  "I have seen you naked, you have a great body, thick in all the right places, he will drool like he never has before!"
    I smirk, "I want all the deets." I shake my head closing my door, i put the matching white robe on and wait for Matt.
       I wait for a while but, he is late, he is never late... Its 1am and i haven't gotten a text back...
    "Where are you?" I send the text waiting for him again but, nothing...
    I lay down, tears falling down my cheeks. My eyes close for a moment, i hear a thud on my door. I get up opening the door to a very drunk Matt on the floor.
   "I'm sorry I'm late... I was trapped in a keg off."
   "Really Matt?!"
   "Why are you mad?!"
  I slam my door shut, he opens it and looks at me with his jaw clenched.
  "I lost my buzz thank you very much!"
    "Good, you fucking asshole!"
   His eyes widen looking at me like i crazy.
    "Don't ever yell at me again!"
    "Go fuck yourself Matt!"
   "What the fuck is your problem?!"
  "Read the room Matt!"
  He looks around seeing the candles he takes a deep breathe and looks at me, really looks at me. Tears sliding down my cheeks, "Shit..."
    I wipe them away shaking my head,
   "Just leave Matt."
     He shakes his head leaving my room, my heart feels so ugly. I overreacted but, i was pissed, i was ready to give myself to him and he comes over drunk? What did was he thinking coming over here drunk anyways?! I change into my Pj's, blow out the candles and sigh laying down in my bed. My phone vibrates.
    "I'm sorry i ruined the night for both of us. I apricate what you were planning for us and i want you to know ill always regret this night.. I hop you can forgive me."
     "I do forgive you. Goodnight."
  I put my phone away and sleep, i didn't wan to talk anymore, i am so mentally exhausted and i just can't do this right now..