Alone at the Sidewalk

All of my friends have their own lovelifes. Have their own bae's, hunnie, babe, gah. And what so ever.

Maghintay lang kayo at ako rin magkakaroon ng bae.

"Hoy girl, di mo man lang kami hinintay at nauna kana kumain? Grabe ha. Di kaba nabobore mag isa."

Mas okay na ang mabore habang kumakain mag isa, kaysa kasama ko nga sila pero wala namang nakikipag usap sakin. Muntanga ako dun habag nakikinig sa mga cheesy banats ng boyfriend nila. Buti pa dito natititigan ko pa crush ko.

"Hindi naman."

My Crush, he's my inspiration. When I'm in school I'm inspired. That feeling that you wanted him to notice even a little strand of your hair. You'll do everything just for him to notice you. So I'm striving hard to get to the Overall top 10.

" Ay kaya naman pala di nabobore. Titigan ba naman si Ef. Matunaw yan girl sige ka. Mawawalan kana ng crush." I just glared at her. Sanay na sila. Si Ef Valdez. A 4th year student as me. My inspiration.

Isang araw. Hinila nalang ako ng mga kaibigan ko palabas ng room habang nag aayos ako ng gamit ko.

"Ano ba 'yan? Makahila wagas?" Sabi ko at sinarado ang bag ko.

"Hi Ef, hingi daw si Jane ng number mo." Said Kim. Watda? Ano? Never in my whole life existence I would ask my Crush for a phone number.

"Ha? Sige. Pahiram ng ballpen. Ah. Wala akong papel, sa kamay mo nlang Jane. Pwede ba?" So dahil nagpalusot sya na walang papel. Sa kamay ko ang ending. Okay wag na choosy. Chance to. The time that he touches my hand nahiya ako. I said to myself. Finally, napansin nya rin ako. And he even knew my name. How come?

Naging mag ka textmate kami ni Ef since the day that my friends ask for his number. Naging close kami ng konti. Minsan nagpapansinan naman kami sa school pero theres an awkward feeling. He used to call me 'Ms.Batgirl' cause I love Batman. Haha. And me, I used to call him Captain Radz. He said he loves One Piece. That Monkey D' Luffy. I don't know what was it.

Pag nagtetext kami feeling ko may gusto rin sya sakin. Cause he's always concern. He ask me things that made me smile. I think I'm falling.

Until he said that he love me. He courted me for months. I saw he's sincerity. Because he's willing to wait. He always surprise me. As in Everyday. Every morning variety of things were placed on the top of my table. Chocolates, boquet of flowers, roses, sometimes he gives me a letter with a sweet message on it. And that made me fall even dipper to him. Until I've already decided.

"Ef, I have something to tell you." I feel nervous while saying those words. My hands are shaking but I used to hide it behind me.

"Ano yun, Jane?"

"Ahm. Yes. Sinasagot na kita. I will be your girl." Shock was obvious in his face. His mouth that was slightly open and his wide eyes. Cutee pie.

"Talaga? Tayo na? As in?...... Yes!!" He's so happy. He hugged me so tight that I can't anymore breath. I'm glad that even he waited so long, his feelings for me didn't change. So kami na. Ang saya ko. Ngayon may Bae nako. Ganito pala feeling ng may boyfriend. Napapangiti kanalanh pag naaalala mo yung saya sa mukha ng mahal mo.

Alam ng parents namin na kami ni Ef. May tiwala naman sila kasi matino si Ef.

Nasanay nako na hinahatid nya ko palagi pag uwian, susunduin ako pag umaga, magdadala ng gamit ko paglabas ko ng room, sabay pag kakain ng lunch at surpresahin ako araw araw. Yes. He's been doing that until now.

Hanggang sa 11 monthsary namin. And we're in 1st year college. He's acting cold to me. Hindi nya na rin ako sinusurprise pag umaga. Wala nakong kasabay pag uwi. Kasi laging may practice daw sya. Hindi ko narin sya nakakasabay mag lunch kasi practice din ng basketball.

Until he confronted me the reason behind him being cold.

"Ayoko na Jane. Sawa na ko. Ayoko na sayo. May iba nakong mahal. Let's end this. Ayoko ng tumagal pa to." That left me dumbfounded. He left me broken.

Ang sakit lang na matapos ang mahabang panahon na pinagsamahan namin parang ang dali lng sakanya na iwan ako. Ang dali lang sakanya bitawan ang mga salitang yon.

I'm walking alone at the sidewalk. Drifting wet because of the rain. I miss him. I miss how he held my hand while we're walking the same sidewalk as I am walking by now.

Namimiss ko yung masaya naming pag uusap tapos di na namin namamalayan na nasa tapat na kami ng bahay.

And how he kiss my forehead before leaving. Now. That's just a memory.

Why? Why do everyone leaves me? Bakit lahat nalang ng importante sakin iniiwan ako? Iniwan na ako ng ate at kuya ko kasi naaksidente sila 2 years ago , ngayon naman pati mahal ko iniwan ako.

Ayoko na. I'd rather be alone than to have a special someone that would only leave me after. Its not easy to feel this.

Was I born just to be left by someone? It hurts. It badly hurts. I wish no one will ever come again to my life. Unless they're willing to stay.

I'm Jane Coleen Delos Reyes, and I'm alone at the Sidewalk.

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Eto na guys yung reflection ko. Alam ko walang kaeffort effort to haha.Sooooorry po. Comment nalng yung feedback nyo. :D

~AFK♥