the miseducation of love

try and forgive me i have trust issues

Jazzy's pov:

I don't understand why diggy doesn't forgive me he knows I have trust issues and I've flipped out about him and other girls before and he's forgiven me before so what's so different now! and now we're in this argument type thing, and he's yelling at me " I don't want to here it jazzy!" " babe im sorry it was a mistake!" " you been making a lot of "mistakes" lately" diggy's mad at me because I went to pizza hut and cussed him out because he was there with a girl but I didn't know it was his cousin and he got extra mad because he said I made him look bad and I don't like fighting with my boyfriends so now im trying to get him to forgive me so we can kiss and make up and I don't really understand why he's so mad which is kinda pissing me off but im REALLY trying to keep my calm because I don't want to turn this into more than this is or needs to be. so I try and see if this works "but don't you know I got trust issues" and he counters with "but haven't I proven myself to you? ....you know what, don't answer that, im done." I was afraid it was gonna end up like this but I didn't want this simple misunderstanding to end up with diggy walking out ready to say forget it to our whole relationship so here I am running after him and trying to stop him from walking out that door and possibly out of my life. And I just  love him too much to let that happen. "babe im sorry, im trying to work on it , plz don't leave me." and then out of no where I start crying and anybody that knows me knows that I hate crying especially over a guy, but if it works to keep the peace in this house then so be it...I guess:/. "im tired if forgiving you jazzy, im done" "I promise I will make it up to you just don't make this more than it needs to be"

Then he said something I thought I would never hear come from his mouth when he was talking to me "your promises mean nothing to me anymore." that, out of all things he could have said to me hurt the most ,not the deepest but the most, after he said that I was in a state of complete and utter shock, then he just walked out so I did the only thing I could've at that moment I went in the kitchen got me like 2 bottles of sangria and 2 bottles of peach ciroc went in the west wing living room, sat on the couch and just started to drink and drink and drink until the next thing I knew there was a knock at my door.

I hear Brit's voice saying "Jazzy open the door" so I stumble over to the door and open it and see brit and Mel standing there ,then I stumble back in the house to the main living room where I had gradually made my way to through all the drinking....I couldn't stay in the west wing for to long.. its just to painful to relive my past like that. Mel was the first one to ask me if I was drunk, my response being "yep what are yall doing here" brit stepping in the conversation with "why are you drunk" "tell me why yall here first" Mel stepping in knowing where this was going said "trey told us what happened with you and diggy" I turned to brit and gave her my best duhh!! look and said "well then you know why im drunk" she gave me a "don't look at me like that" kinda look and said "you cant drink because of what happened with you and diggy" I just rolled my eyes and took a long sip of my drink.

Brit took my bottle, I just looked at her in disbelief and said "bitch!" she just said "im trying to help you bitch!" all I had to say was "yea wateva" and I turned around and picked up my bottle of ciroc and was about to take a sip but Mel took the bottle from me. I couldn't believe what I was seeing "your on her side too...wow SMH I thought you of all people would be on my side" "im not on anybody's side im just here to help a friend." was her only response ..brit joining in with "im here to help you too jazzy we're not your enemies we're your friends" I really wasn't in the mood for this "if yall were really my friends yall would give me back my sangria and peach ciroc."

"we would be horrible friends if we gave you back your drinks. you where sitting there taking it to the head" this time it was Mel to speak up. but all this talking and taking my bottles and reasoning was seriously killing my buzz so I decided to lighten the mood by singing "take it to the head yeaee yea don't think about it be about it don't be scared to take it to the head yea!!!" I could see brit getting frustrated "stop playing this is serious" now I was getting frustrated "look either you sit down and grab a bottle with me or give me my bottles back and get the hell outta my house because your seriously killing my buzz and I for 1 don't want to come back to the realization of the fact that I only told 4 men that I love them and ment it and 3 of them are disowned and one just walked out that door today and possibly out of my life for ever.so make your choice now cause my patients are running dangerously thin right now and im soon about to snap if I don't get a drink in my hand" I just looked between the two of them with so much seriousness and passion in my eyes I could tell they knew I was dead serious.

Mel was the first one to speak "look we're not here to fight you.... so we're gonna join you." and with that we spent the rest of the night drinking no talking just drinking and drinking until they passed out leaving me there to think walk around ...more like stumble around my house and think until I ended up passing out in the princess guest room in the west wing crying with a mix of emotions from, hurt to hate to regret to pain of the memory of the past then thinging of my past sent me into an anxiety attack and all I could do was sit there and cry and cry and cry and like I said before I HATE CRYING!!!!

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ok well that was chapter 2 I really wanted to upload to give my readers something new

I know it wasn't that good but I promise it will get better next chaper will be diggy and a few people

plz vote and comment on some things I could do to make things better it would help a lot thanx a lot

love you all you all are jewels!!

-shalynn