Exotic Love (Novel)

48

[The shoot ended safely in Suncheon Bay There was a background Director Yoon wanted, so It was a bit delayed, but the filming started early this morning and finished around 4 o'clock. Actress Yang had a hard time because of the long shooting period.]

  The man was my spy.

  [There was some friction with Director Yoon. She's pretty upset...…. She didn't have much contact with other actors because the atmosphere on the set was somewhat cold. With actor Choi Jung-hoon-]

  My spy, which I attached to Yang Hyun-ji. The man sincerely reported on filming site. What kind of conversation did she have with a man, how was the atmosphere, and how was her behavior on the set? The man doing this job seems to think that I will consider Yang Hyun-ji as a new spouse and think of me as doing a background investigation. The man I assigned to made the report was focusing on all that.

  [- After filming, she came to Seoul and went home. I've been watching for about an hour in front of her place and she's not going out.]

  "What about Director Yoon?"

  Of course, my intention was to keep an eye on Yoon Hee-gyeom.

  [I know that Director Yoon also went home.  I don't think you need to worry about the relationship between actress Yang and Director Yoon.]

  "When is the next shoot?"

  [After a two-day break, the next shoot is in the East Sea.]

  "Let's report back to me in two days at this time."

  [Yes, sir.]

I hung up the phone as soon as I heard him answer. The cigarette that was stretching was burned to the bottom of the filter. I dropped it to the floor and trampled on it with my shoes. Because of the nervousness, the cigarette under the sole was crushed, leaving only a filter behind.

  Standing stunned for a while, I was lost in thought. It was literally just a thought. But I was nervous. My lips is burning with nervousness, my heart is pounding...….Even though I can only think of him as a crazy bastard

  I wanted to go see Yoon Hee-gyeom.

  Why. I asked myself, but I couldn't answer. I don't know why. I didn't want to know. Any reasonable reason? No, it wasn't a rational idea in the first place. Though thoughts and doubts soared, there was also reason and emotion to suppress them.

  No, I must go see Yoon Hee-gyeom. Is it worth feeling both this nervousness and the trembling with anxiety that spreads in your chest?  It was the first time I gave my back to a man after all.  I'm worried about where Yoon Hee-gyeom will go and talk about it.  Yes, that's why I set up a spy to investigate Yang Hyun-ji and spied on Yoon Hee-gyeom as well.  Like Yang Hyun-ji, I didn't know how she live.  Whether she's good at filming, acting well, whether she's on good terms with the Director or not.

  And Yoon Hee-gyeom is the only human who had ever penetrated my back, and it's only natural that I have the right to know what he's doing and what kind of human being he's meeting. What kind of man he is, who dares to be on top of me? And I was feeling disgusted that I didn't contact him. If you cause an accident, you should take care of it afterwards, or it would be like hit and run. Even if I leave without saying anything, the one who couldn't do anything to me is Yoon Hee-gyeom, and there's no action from him. It was disgraceful. Yeah, that's detestable. There's enough justification to beat him up when I meet him.

  When I thought about it, I went back inside the room.  As I left with my jacket on, surprised eyes looked at me and asked me why, but I couldn't afford to reply.  I drank a little, but I wasn't drunk.  No, I may have been drunk.  I'm drunk, so maybe I'm like this.  But it didn't matter.  I grabbed the steering wheel and stepped on the accelerator.

  On one hand, there was a sharp criticism in my head that I was making an unreasonable self-rationalization, but as I became emotional without knowing it, I ignored the criticism as if I had never even thought of it.  Then, this time, the reason shouted.  Stop it.  Do not do that.  You will regret it  That day was just a mistake.  In fact, it was a desperate cry to protect my pride.  It was more of a plea than a cry.  But I even ignored that.

  In the end, only emotions remain.  And I wasn't the kind of person who lived my life with so much suppression of my emotions.  It was natural for me to do what my emotions told me to do.  Again, it's funny to have to put up with it being me entangled with Yoon Hee-gyeom.

  In my jumbled mind, rationalization, criticism, and rationalization continued like a Möbius strip and never stopped.

  If there's one thing that doesn't change.

   Its the fact that I was going to Yoon Hee-gyeom.