karlie's pov:
it was nearing the end of summer, with the evenings turning chilly and the leaves starting to fall. i felt stupid that i had spent the whole break wishing to be myself again, the self i was around taylor.
maybe i had just missed taylor.
school was starting in a week, and i wasn't nearly ready to face everyone, and i knew i couldn't do it alone. a part of me, a part i so dearly hated, knew that it was time to let go of taylor. to let go of the memories that made me lightheaded like i was drunk on champagne and all the things we didn't do.
my internal monologue came to a close as the bus jutted forward, stopping at my street. i jumped out of my seat with a swift hop and said thank you to the rather annoyed looking bus driver. after a few minutes of walking i arrived home, the house feeling unusually empty. there were no cars in the driveway, so when i swinged the door open i shouted for my mum and dad, expecting a reply.
but none came.
i pulled out my phone, opening my messages app, to see if i had missed out on anything, and thank god i had.
mum <3
hey kar, dad and i aren't home right now, there's been a problem at one of our investment properties... electrical malfunction or something. your sisters are staying at a friends, and we might not be home until late so feel free to order some pizza. i left some cash in the drawer. would you mind checking the mail for me? i'm expecting a package soon..
love you lots, mum x
the message calmed my nerves, assuring me nothing bad had happened to my parents or sisters. just some stupid property issue. i walked to the front lawn, checking quickly to see if my mum's package had arrived, with no luck. i did bring in the letters though, skimming through them quickly to see if any of them were addressed to me. there were 3, one for a phone bill, another from school and the last ...
had no information on the front. just my name and address, written in delicate handwriting. i assumed it was just a delayed christmas card from a friend or family member, seeing as the season had just finished. but something felt different.
i ripped open the letter like i was ripping off a bandaid, and a piece of lined paper fell out softly. i grabbed it, and after reading the first few words my whole world went dizzy.
to karlie,
i know we haven't talked in a while. but i love you. i need you, i want you. i go to sleep thinking about you and wake up with your voice glimmering in my head. i look at you from above and i can't focus because the whole world shimmers. i'm alive, im tongue-tied, i'm writing you letters and then tearing them up again. i'm tearing up, i'm imagining you, i'm undressing you and looking into your eyes and kissing them, i'm pressing you against a wall and you're pushing back and your body wants mine and mine wants yours, you kiss my mouth and bite my lip and you draw blood and god it tastes like nectar. i feel like i'm on fire, you're on fire, your eyes are dark and your hair is flame and the whole world shimmers and i burn and i burn and i burn with love. when i imagine you, when i imagine us, i've no wit, no mind, no brake, no self control nor shame. i'm not religious but i worship you, i embrace your wrist, i kiss your neck, i undo the tiniest buttons at your sleeve, and i'm full of words and i'm speechless, speechless, speechless but all i can say is i want - i want - there is no poetry - there is no structure of any of this - only i want - i want - i need you, karlie.
i miss you, karlie. you make me feel like i'm filled with starlight. i know you still love me, and i still love you, i promise. i have not gone a day where our last night together has not crossed my mind. your love liberates me, as i soon hope mine will do to you. i want to write things for you. good things, not rambles like this. i want to write things that make you understand how much i love you but you know i've always been bad at words so let me put it this way;
