In My Heart the Will

Bellatrix

Bellatrix:Chapter 3:Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto

Before when I found myself staring at the ceiling, I was waking up from having fallen asleep talking to Dior which was totally different from the hard nights of the past three months now.

Licking my lips idly, I sighed, and stood up, making my way to the other side of the crazily patterned neutrally colored room. Unfortunately, I only got about halfway before I was cold and so went back and pulled my blanket around me before trudging out the door.

When I really thought about it, that room held memories that a multitude of people would rather stay away from to protect their minds or whatever they called it. Personally, I saw that potential seizure causing room as a bubble that held all my worst moments intact. A room that I needed in order to keep my hold on those memories (this time) and find a way to make sure that I don’t make the same mistake again.

My hallucination of myself was sitting on the couch, her eyes moved to me and she smirked and looked in the direction of the covered windows, the only evidence of it being morning was the thin stream of light peeking through the sides of the curtains. To me, it was a bad omen to keep my blinds open in the morning and let the light in simply because it reminded me of what my father told me.

“You fall asleep at night and they’ll find you and kill you!!! You were born to die sometime after me! You hear me, child?! They will find you before you can do anything to stop them. They are searching for you in the end!!! You are the ultimate sacrifice!!!”

I flinched, and... Jezze (to better distinguish us) started chuckling. She barely ever spoke a word during these past months. The only time she ever made a sound was when something bothered me or when she heard me mentally acknowledge that her presence alone made me uncomfortable.

This made me hate my schizophrenia and her even more. So, rather than stay here and take mocking from an illusion, I walked passed her into the kitchen and gathered a recently made cheesecake and two plates and forks, balancing the plates and utensils on top of the plastic lid of the sweet treat, and moving them over to the other side of the counter.

In all honesty, cheesecake was the only sweet thing I knew how to make, but I did have a few things that I kept with me that I could add.

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I was looking over the photos the coroner had taken of the bodies again. One woman had been killed by being battered to death.

‘Probably the only thing he could do at the time. This also makes it more likely that this person is, in fact, male.’

The sound of a door opening and then closing followed by the dragging of something, made me turn my head to see Fleur standing there with a container of something with plates and forks, while she herself was bundled up in a blanket.

“Fleur, is something wrong? You are normally asleep at this hour.” It was something odd, even for her, she detested being awake at these hours, feared it thanks to psychological attacks from her father. To this day, remembering such things about her past made me angry. Then I glanced at the container.

Was that cheesecake? I had never seen her make anything else before. She walked towards me and placed it on the table next to me. Then while holding her blanket to her frame with her underarms she took off the lid. It was strawberry cheesecake.

“Your favorite, right?” Her voice sounded strained, tired, and her eyes appeared heavy, but she was still giving me a smile that reached her brown orbs. Had she been getting enough sleep?

“Yes, thank you, but you don’t look well.” She pulled up a seat and moved it closer to my own, resting her head on my shoulder for a bit before replying.