Our Debts

6.

Astrid

Well, tonight was embarrassing...

Carter insisted that he was the driver for tonight. I didn't object. A faint smile played on my lips, thinking back to our little moment.

We didn't exchange many words, but our eyes talked. The tears in my eyes told him everything, I showed him vulnerability. And he accepted it.

I lean my head outside the convertible, the cold wind hitting my face. I crook my head to examine the sculpted man next to me. His eyes are tense and eyebrows knitted together, lost in his own thoughts. After the whole Chase predicament, the mood around us was very much brooding.

I connected my phone to the Bluetooth system, something I had to add to the 1996 car. E3, the name my Grandpa gave the car (it stuck with me, too), has gone under multiple surgeries to get to where he is today.

I scroll through many of my playlists trying to pick the right one for this moment. My body goes rigid when the album "Divine Strength, Margò" comes to the top of the screen. That was the first album she wrote when she left me. People were ecstatic over her comeback, top chart, awards, and non-stop promotion on the radio. I listened to all of it, bitter-sweet emotions. Sweet, knowing that she named the album after me, Astrid means divine strength. Bitter, knowing that she was living her life, leaving mine.

The days leading up to Margò leaving, she took me to my favorite places and bought me all the toys I wanted. It was her way of saying goodbye and sorry, not that it matters to me anymore. The next morning, I woke up to my Dad begging her to stay.

I decided on my "dear diary.." playlist from high school and put it on shuffle. Carter looks at me from the corner of his eyes, his smile broadening until his dimples appear when I passionately start singing along.

I've tried playin' it cool

But when I'm lookin' at you

I point my fingers at him, smirking.

I can't ever be brave

'Cause you make my heart raceShot me out of the sky

You're my kryptonite

I hold my hand out to him, an imaginary microphone in my hand. "No"

"Come on, love. It's 1D!" I urge him to sing, turning my body so I'm facing the seat now. I stare at him, giving him the you-better-do-what-I-say look. He shakes his head.

" The chorus is coming up." I reach over the middle console, drawing close to his body. I grab his chin, caressing his jaw, gaining his attention. "Please," it came out more breathy than I expected.

He closes his eyes for a second trying to hide the lust, unfortunately for him, I notice. I praise myself mentally for having this effect on him.

So get out, get out, get out of my head

And fall into my arms instead

I screamed the lyrics out, not caring if it sounded like a strangle. His husky voice joined me.

I was singing a One Direction love song with Carter.

I was singing a One Direction love song with Carter.

I was singing a One Direction love song with Carter.

I was singing a One Direction love song with Carter.

I was singing a One Direction love song with Carter.

I was singing a One Direction love song with Carter.