Goodbye

          ⚠️Huge TW for suicide and death!!!⚠️

          I took one last good look at the beautiful land surrounding me. Cider lake, the Stormberror Mountains and Wolvendom and Dragonspine in the distance... they had been my home for as long as I could remember.
          How I would miss them so...
          Not that I deserved to live here. In such a beautiful, kind place... while I was, well, me. A stain on the land and the city of Mondstadt.
          I wish to, but I dare not call it my city. I was an exile. An imposter, pretending to be good.
          Diluc knew of my true self. He was the only one I told, who was aware of my evil presence amongst a city of angels. Sure, everyone else knew of my rude, and completely fake ego, and how I treated others with such a bad attitude. But only Diluc knew who I really was.
          Everyone in Mondstadt seemed as if they could do no wrong. They were all so kind, caring, forgiving, understanding, strong, smart... and then there was me. Kaeya Alberich, a filthy, corrupt spy from Khaneri'ah. Who ruined his brother's life even more than it already was. Who had caused such a lovely person such agonizing misery...
          I simply didn't belong. I didn't belong in this wonderful city of wonderful people. You wouldn't give a man who deserves to be tortured and to rot in prison a life like this, would you?
          Of course not. I didn't deserve it. It's not fair. I shouldn't be here. I should be rotting with hilichurls, deep in the mud where no one has to see me.
        It's not like I could really go about rotting myself in mud myself, so I suppose this was the next best thing.
         Standing at the edge of the top of the cliff behind the graveyard in Mondstadt, I turned around to get a last look at the gorgeous cathedral. Rosaria was probably in there..
          I smiled to myself at the thought of her. Goodness, did I love her...
          Behind the cathedral I could see Dragonspine. Albedo was probably up there too. I loved him dearly as well..
          My smile quickly faded. Those angels did not deserve to be loved by the likes of me. I grunted, and turned my head to get a last look at one more thing.
          Crepus Ragnvindr's grave. My father's grave. No, I didn't deserve to call him my father, but it was the truth. He was more of a father than my biological one could ever dream to be.
          "I'm so sorry, father... I'm a monster. I still don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that you didn't know... one one hand, you didn't deserve to learn that your.. son was this evil. On the other hand, you deserved to know the truth. To not live a lie...
          I'm sorry.
          I'm sorry.
          I'm sorry.
          I'm sorry.
          I'm sorry.
          I'm sorry."
          With that, I turned back around to face the lake. My eyepatch was now soaked in tears, and had gotten quite uncomfortable, so I removed it. I scoffed at myself for allowing myself to feel more comfortable, I knew I didn't deserve it. I was about to die anyways, what did my comfort matter?? Ugh, I didn't care. Whatever. All these morals and things that I did or didn't deserve wouldn't be a problem anymore in just a moment.
          I stepped up to the edge, but remembered something.
          "Oop! I forgot about that. I would've instinctively deployed this, wouldn't I?" I mumbled to myself, removing my wing glider and placing it on the ground next to me. Ugh, someone would have to pick that up... oh well, maybe some lucky kid will find it and they'll get a free wind glider? Heh. That'd be nice.
          If I'm being completely honest, I didn't really want to die. I only knew that it had to be done. I would've loved to see how the rest of my life played out, to experience all the fun.. I also would've liked to have rekindled my relationship with my dear brother. But I knew that couldn't happen. It shouldn't. This was what was right, and if I get to do a single thing right, I suppose it'll be this.
          The moment had finally come.
          I'd be getting what I deserved, and this world would be liberated from my presence.
          I took a deep breath, and stepped off the cliff.
          "Farewell. I'm sorry."