Little women

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE HEARTACHE

Whatever his motive might have been, Laurie studied to some purposethat year, for he graduated with honor, and gave the Latin oration with thegrace of a Phillips and the eloquence of a Demosthenes, so his friendssaid. They were all there, his grandfather—oh, so proud—Mr. and Mrs.March, John and Meg, Jo and Beth, and all exulted over him with thesincere admiration which boys make light of at the time, but fail to winfrom the world by any after-triumphs. 

"I've got to stay for this confounded supper, but I shall be home earlytomorrow. You'll come and meet me as usual, girls?" Laurie said, as he putthe sisters into the carriage after the joys of the day were over. He said'girls', but he meant Jo, for she was the only one who kept up the oldcustom. She had not the heart to refuse her splendid, successful boyanything, and answered warmly... 

"I'll come, Teddy, rain or shine, and march before you, playing 'Hail theconquering hero comes' on a jew's-harp." 

Laurie thanked her with a look that made her think in a sudden panic,"Oh, deary me! I know he'll say something, and then what shall I do?" 

Evening meditation and morning work somewhat allayed her fears, andhaving decided that she wouldn't be vain enough to think people weregoing to propose when she had given them every reason to know what heranswer would be, she set forth at the appointed time, hoping Teddywouldn't do anything to make her hurt his poor feelings. A call at Meg's,and a refreshing sniff and sip at the Daisy and Demijohn, still furtherfortified her for the tete-a-tete, but when she saw a stalwart figure loomingin the distance, she had a strong desire to turn about and run away.

"Where's the jew's-harp, Jo?" cried Laurie, as soon as he was withinspeaking distance. 

"I forgot it." And Jo took heart again, for that salutation could not becalled lover-like. 

She always used to take his arm on these occasions, now she did not,and he made no complaint, which was a bad sign, but talked on rapidlyabout all sorts of faraway subjects, till they turned from the road into thelittle path that led homeward through the grove. Then he walked moreslowly, suddenly lost his fine flow of language, and now and then adreadful pause occurred. To rescue the conversation from one of the wellsof silence into which it kept falling, Jo said hastily, "Now you must have agood long holiday!" 

"I intend to." 

Something in his resolute tone made Jo look up quickly to find himlooking down at her with an expression that assured her the dreadedmoment had come, and made her put out her hand with an imploring, "No,Teddy. Please don't!" 

"I will, and you must hear me. It's no use, Jo, we've got to have it out,and the sooner the better for both of us," he answered, getting flushed andexcited all at once. 

"Say what you like then. I'll listen," said Jo, with a desperate sort ofpatience. 

Laurie was a young lover, but he was in earnest, and meant to 'have itout', if he died in the attempt, so he plunged into the subject withcharacteristic impetuousity, saying in a voice that would get choky nowand then, in spite of manful efforts to keep it steady... 

"I've loved you ever since I've known you, Jo, couldn't help it, you'vebeen so good to me. I've tried to show it, but you wouldn't let me. Now I'mgoing to make you hear, and give me an answer, for I can't go on so anylonger." 

"I wanted to save you this. I thought you'd understand..." began Jo,finding it a great deal harder than she expected. 

"I know you did, but the girls are so queer you never know what theymean. They say no when they mean yes, and drive a man out of his witsjust for the fun of it," returned Laurie, entrenching himself behind anundeniable fact.