You can't disregard the sleepless nights
Soul aching for dreams and wonder
Body itching to stay slumber
Heart beating to a track that got you wanting to run
I'm up
Full moon caresses the sky by it's light
I know my calling, my drive, my mind
It ignites
Every passing second
Every passing sunrise and sunset
God I write cause I feel like this world
This plain which a house can be built
But at a dreading price
It needs a light
It needs a new song
It needs me to be a light
But at what cost
God Why?
God Why?
God... why....
Why all my life I've served you but still went through some type of struggle
Your word says we'll be blessed by being obedient to you
God, yes it was amazing, but I still got hurt
God Why....
Why when I try to live life by my own standards
I go through worse
There's bodies on this land
That can't stand
The sight of goodness
That don't serve you
Yet they got it better than me...
Or so it seems
Do my scars reflect my journey?
Do my scars make impacts when others view them?
My scars.... why do they tell a story...
A boy
Loves God, hates sin, loves people...
Sins....
Just because he was trying to figure out himself...
Just because he wanted Love
Sex
Affection
Companionship
A family....
Believe me, no regrets or threats
I love my family
My kids
My Queen
It all went by so fast
Where's my balance?
Maybe time sped up for him
I mean me
This is about me
Not anyone else
Just me
God Why me?
I love you
I need you God
I write...
Because it frees me for a temporarily time
Like smoking a blunt to ease the pain in my body from car crashes
And not letting Jesus take the wheel
I write
Cause it defines me
Better than I can define myself
I write...
Because it's my prayer to you
I write
Because... it gives me a sense of peace...
Pen, pencil, ink to paper or pad
It gives me
Life
I remember one college day
Slam competition
We did a slam prayer
Hold tradition
New direction
I'm conversing with another
Both of us artist
Strictly departed
Longed for embrace
I wrote them a hiphop prayer
It goes like this:
"Dear Father,
Bless me as I grab the mic
Keep me as the beat reflects the light
Use me to hype the crowd and be the light
I pray the music will be my wings
In your arms I'll take flight
Let each bar pour into lives
Using hiphop to heal their cries
To heal their wounds
To heal their minds
To fill our souls
With good music to vibe
Let me be a wise MC
To show the world that hiphop isn't dead
But alive through me.
Amen."
... Amen
