Summary:
Felix needs Jake and Jake doesn't know why he cares. Rated for non-explicit sexual situations and tons of swearing because Jake has a dirty mouth
chapter 1 : Jake
Jake has always fucking hated Felix Ferne from the moment they entered middle school together. It's after school when Jake's walking home and Felix fucking pisses him off with another one of those smartarse comments that Jake honestly doesn't fucking feel bad when he punches Felix. But it's a different feeling to usual and he's watching Felix for any retaliation when Felix just licks the blood off his lips and smirks at Jake like it's a fucking challenge. Jake is only thinking about how much he hates Felix when he pushes him up against the wall and kisses him. Felix kisses back and it's hot and fierce and feels better than anything in the world. Jake is keeping control, pushing Felix into the wall, his grip tight enough to bruise. Felix just moans into the kiss and slides his hands into the back pockets of Jake's jeans. Jake pulls away, slams Felix into the wall one more time and walks off, his mouth tasting like blood and metal.
Felix is ditching class again. Jake stares at the empty seat and digs his short nails into his palms. The goth has been doing this for a few days now, skipping out at lunch to go make out with some fucking arsehole from another school. Not that Jake fucking cares who Felix is with.
The second time is when Jake sees Felix walking home alone after class. Felix notices him at the same time and turns down a narrow street, giving Jake a backwards glance that had to be a fucking invitation. Jake follows him because ever since the first time he can't stop thinking about what Felix tasted like. Almost before Jake knows what's happening he's got Felix trapped against the brick wall. Felix is just giving him that same fucking look as before and Jake wants so badly to be in control that he's sinking his teeth into Felix's neck. Felix's response is quick and unexpected, pulling Jake even closer by the belt loops of his jeans. Jake bites down harder and he's encouraged by those little mewls of pain that Felix is making. This time Jake just lets Felix put his hands all over him and returns the favour as he finally kisses him properly. The taste of metal is still there even though the blood isn't, and Jake pulls on the piercings a lot more gently than he meant to. Then it hits him that he's making out with Felix Ferne in a fucking alleyway and he hasn't hurt Felix in a way anywhere near what he originally intended. Jake pulls away but Felix insistently keeps him close in a way that makes Jake think maybe Felix needs this as much as he does. He's still not really sure why he needs him but he has to have a reason to be pushing his hands up under Felix's shirt like this.
Jake's in the middle of nowhere with Sam and two complete freaks, staring off into space while the others sleep. Then Felix's hand is on his shoulder like Jake's completely fucking fine with the contact and he's asking if Jake is okay. He's close to losing control and admitting he's scared so he just shoves Felix away and stalks off, pretending he doesn't see the hurt in those pretty eyes.
Sam and Andy are asleep and Jake is hoping no one can hear his quiet but fucking uncontrollable crying. He's not that fucking weak but he really just wants to go home. He's almost over it when Felix comes over yet again and tries to talk to him. Jake's about to deck him when Felix pulls the blankets back and then he's actually in Jake's bed. Felix looks like he's going to fucking cuddle him so Jake rolls over and pins Felix to the bed. He's really goddamn close to Felix now and the lines have been so far blurred that he's not sure whether he's supposed to want to hurt him or kiss him. Something about the look in Felix's eyes makes up his mind for him and he's running his tongue along Felix's lip piercings. Jake hears Felix moan in a breathy way that should totally make him sound like a girl but doesn't. Felix's hands are on his chest and he's telling Jake to back off because they'll wake up the others. Jake just bites Felix hard enough to make him yelp in pain and tells him he'd better be quiet then.
Andy and Sam aren't talking to Felix and Jake is conflicted. It's all been Felix's fault the whole time but somehow he's having trouble feeling his old hate. Maybe that's why Jake pulls Felix close and kisses him more gently than ever, and he doesn't even miss the metal rings. Felix twists his hands in Jake's shirt and it's not until Jake tastes salt that he realises Felix is crying.
Jake sinks his teeth deeper into Felix's lower lip and presses even closer. He's not thinking about anything except the way Felix is arching up against him when he bites just the right spot, and the feel of Felix's bare skin under his fingertips. Jake pulls back and roughly removes Felix's worn t-shirt, running his hands down Felix's spine as they kiss once more. Jake's shirt is on the floor and Felix is trying to undo Jake's belt without breaking the kiss. Jake is determined to finally take this to the next level of this sick little game he's playing. All week he's been seeing how far he can take this, forcing Felix to stay silent as Jake kisses and bites him in the middle of the night in the darkened room they share with the others. Locked in Phoebe's bathroom, they're just close enough to the shop for her to hear if they're too loud. Jake slides Felix's tight jeans off and wonders how the fuck he got here.
They're back home and Felix looks so fucking hopeful when Jake asks to talk that he almost changes his mind. But it's not going to happen and they both know it, so Jake rips out Felix's heart and pretends he doesn't know why he cares.
They've all had a really fucked up few days and Jake should just be enjoying seeing his mum again. After the news about Bates, though, he's jogging through the darkened streets trying to remember how to breathe. Felix is leaning up against the same wall that Jake pushed him up against an eternity ago and Jake nearly runs away because he thinks he's about to tell Felix he never wanted him to leave. He wishes he was anywhere else but it's too late and Felix is calling his name. Jake wants so fucking badly to just kiss Felix even after he punches Jake in the face, and as Jake watches Felix walk away he wonders if he'll ever have a chance to make this mean something.
