Stay With Me Forever

3. Prologue - Shaurya

SHAURYA

I'm on a rooftop, my soul & body is tired of looking for her, I have been searching for her everywhere since so long, I still couldn't find her anywhere.

My chain of thoughts is broken as I notice a silhouette in some distance, I follow it, it's none other than her, she has come back to me, my heart leaps with joy & starts racing, I walk upto her and as I near her I grab her wrist & pull her to me & as usual her hands land on my chest, her breath is laboured too mirroring mine, I hold her palm & cup her face leaving no space between our bodies, I couldn't stand to be apart from her even for an inch, I feel my body relaxing & familiar warmth spreads through me as she is with me after so long, I'm never letting her go now.

"Where have you been, do you even know I wasn't living until now since you went away ?" I asked her, my voice choked with frustration, relief, anger & love I have towards this lady.

She stays mum, it makes annoyance in me grow & somewhere panic too that she may leave me again. I hold her waist & pull her even more if it's possible, hold her chin to make her look into my eyes, her eyes as always are tranquil & twinkling but this time they don't hold the warmth they always have for me, I begin to panic & growl "Answer me !! "

"I have to go, I can't be with a man like you, I deserve better " she says freeing herself from me & starts to walk away.

My heart & body are overpowered by grief, pain & panic, I once again feel the restlessness I've felt all these years in her absence as I dart towards her immediately but she's too quick, I call out & beg to her " Please stop... listen to me, let's talk... please stop... don't do this to me, I have never known how to survive without you, pleassseee ", I whimper loudly but she lends me a deaf ear.

As I fall on my knees I again shout " Don't goooo..." with tears staining my face.

I wake up with a sore body as I adjust myself on recliner on which I slept while working last night. I don't remember anymore what a relaxed body feels like, my head aches & my body feels lifeless, I'm impervious to everything except these nightmares which are a daily affair & my harsh reality. I situp & dry my eyes.

I walk to my closet, take out my clothes & go to the washroom to get ready for the day.

I walk out & stand infront of the mirror as I tie my tie, I could see the reflection of a man who has achieved so much in past 2 years - has expanded SIAC institutions to overseas, built multiple branches in India, acquired garments manufacturing unit in Kapurthala & added many feathers to his cap in various educational seminars, conferences & meets, all done single-handedly just at the age of 35.

And if we talk technically, all I could see is a machine who works day & night embodied in a man who is a living corpse making through each day without any hope & doesn't wish to see another dawn.

All this wealth & success means nothing to me & these luxuries & extravaganza hold no value for me, my soul feels impoverished & deficient of life & happiness, if I get a chance, a single chance, a only chance I'll trade all of it to get her back to me in a breath without a second thought.

I'm brought out of my self affliction by Maakhan, my chauffeur who also happens to be my butler, since I work odd hours & also partly because I keep away from everyone in this house, once again I'm  prone to humans now even if they're family, although I love them & they're my priority but I can't stand anyone being close & affectionate for one moment & disappear the next, they too keep a distance with the man who's always cranky. He has brought my regular breakfast of omelette, toast & coffee. He comes in & places it on table & leaves after knowing the details of our departure.

I keep my laptop & arrange other belongings I may need for the day & keep my navy blue coat on the armrest of sofa, the same coat I wore when I married her first time, I close my eyes to calm my already distressed self. Once again a bittersweet memory !! that's the thing with memories & momentos you can't burn them off not because you can't but because you can't bring yourself to do so, and they stay there lurking in some corner & looking for a vulnerable moment to come stab you making you bleed when you least expect it, this house has every nook & corner full of such memories making sure I never stop bleeding & these scars stay unhealed.

I pick a paperweight off the table & throw it, releasing my frustration after seeing my crumbling inner self. It collides with window pane & glass breaks into pieces, its sound giving me peace that I'm not the only one breaking here.

I sigh & brush off everything aside as I sit for my breakfast & gobble up my food. I take a sip of coffee & it tastes shit, I was never a caffeine addict until I tasted coffee made by her & ever since then she's the only one who makes coffee for me. This recollection takes my annoyance to another height & before I can make sense of anything I hear another clink on a hard surface & I see coffee all over the floor & I shout on top of my lung beckoning househelp.

A guy appears in less than a minute on my threshold already shivering, " Who made this coffee ? Aren't you guys paid enough to know how to make a decent coffee" I growl, guy keeps quite & I again growl "Answer me, damn it !! ". Yet that utter useless guy keeps standing like a statue, before I could demean him further my inner voice reminds me she doesn't like me misbehaving with anyone & I try to pacify myself.

"Get that glass fixed & all this mess cleared" I say gruffly. I pick my coat & bag " Now get aside" I calmly say making my way out & heading towards my car marking my exit.

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Love
MUHADDISAAA