in between

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I try to picture his lips, warm soft but the air is cold on my face. its a long drop. I want him to be with me in my last moments.
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what will happen when I reached the bottom? I know I won't survive but what's beyond that? beyond surviving.
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I can hear the water rushing around me and I know that soon it'll be over, not death, just stopping, like I planned.
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if I turn a little I can see the ground, I try to picture my body hitting it but I can't.
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I can imagine it now I'm so close, the impact, knocking all the air out of my body, breaking my bones at odd angles on the ground.
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If I close the eyes the drop is thrilling, if I close my eyes he haunts me, pain hurts more alone.
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my body hits the ground and I'm gone, I have 15 seconds now. I close my eyes and wait for the flashbacks to start.

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