Choose Your Battles

Chapter 1 ~ Broken

The child was dead.
My child was dead.
Because of my actions my child was dead.
Because of me.

Just one mistake...
One tiny little mistake...

Wesley would never be born into this world. It's probably for the best though. He wouldn't have had the best life. I mean I don't know who his father is. I'm a disgusting human-being. I don't know why anyone would ever want to reproduce with me.

I'm just a stupid girl who acts stupid. I get treated like shit and it never affected me until now. Why?

"Let's go Katy! Hurry up! We have to leave!" a loud voice screeched. Immediately I knew who it was. One word. No nevermind two. Nope three. ANNOYING ASS ANGELA!

I wiped my tears, and got off the bathroom floor. I stared at my reflection. How did I go from the Candyfornia Queen to the Depressionville Queen? Oh wait... my child was dead.

It was like my reflection was talking to me. "Get up! Get ready! Get to work! Move on! He's in a better place!" I felt even worse. I collapsed again. Tears streaming down my face.

I grabbed a piece of toilet paper and scribbled the words, "looked in the mirror and decided to stay."

I got up, dried my eyes and built-up the strength to walk out of the room. The entire experience was like walking out of the happiest moment of your life and walking right into the thing that would destroy you.

The long walk down the stairs was torture. I was so used to having my baby bump. Having a growing thing inside of me that I could use as an excuse when I talk to myself. That thing was gone. My body was already used to having something else relying on it. My soul felt empty. My heart was empty. I was hopeless. I didn't want to move on.

My sister and I had planned a "soul-searching vacation". Where I was supposed to find myself again. I knew I wouldn't, but I haven't had a drink in over 8 months. A few wouldn't hurt.

I locked eyes with my sister when I broke down and absolutely lost it. The waterworks began and there was no controlling them.

The fact that I was able to complete an entire arena tour while pregnant for some parts and then lose the child right after kills me inside. Why me? What did I do? Just why?

"Katy you're fine. He's in a better place. Look at me. At least he's up there with the outfits from CDT that we burned." That last part made me chuckle a little. "Come on or we'll miss our flight to our first stop, Africa." We both wiggled our eyebrows stupidly.

Once I fixed myself up we walked out the front door. I was blinded by the flashing lights of the paparazzi.

"KATY! KATY! WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO NOW YOUR CHILD IS DEAD! OH THATS FINE JUST DONT ANSWER AND BE A BITCH!"

I had lost all sense and lost my mind. I charged at the paparazzi and the rest goes down in history AKA my permanent record.

~~~~~
Author's Note:
Hey guys!
I'm supposed to be asleep but you know Wattpad's here so I'm up.
Hope you liked this chapter!
Did you catch that bit about burning outfits? It's a reference to the burning baby blue Roar promo.