Endless Night...

I'm living within these four walls
more like trapped and clinging onto my own claws.
Messy room,messy hair,messy thoughts and mixed drinks.

I'm staring at my ceiling
with tears running down my eyes,
with thoughts running in my head
while the night is playing song called 'silence' and
i am syncing along my scream by numbing the pain.

I'm exhausted but i can't sleep,
cos' I am always tripping and falling into this hollow of darkness which is too deep.
It's keeping me up,
It's pulling me down.

I'm waiting for the rope to pull me upto the light
but the reality is twisting and tangling my only hope.
Now i am hanging by a twine
which broke and gave me a hopeless sign.

The blue flower blooming in me
with my tears and darkness surrounding me.
I'm gonna reap what I sow when I see the brightly shining sun.

They say it's just a phase,
They say it's gonna end soon
but does this pain have to chase me until I find the end of this boon.
Is there really an end?
Why is it taking so long?
I just want to see the light of the dawn.
I just want to feel the sun on my face.

The poisonous creeper called sadness is creeping through me and strangling me down.
I'm gasping for happiness,
I'm screaming out loud,
nobody can hear me cos' it's muffling me up.

Millions of people around me but I am sitting alone in the corner of a cafe thinking,
Am I depressed or am I antisocial?
There are so many voices in me but why still I can't talk?
I wanna scream,
I wanna shout
until these feelings with no name are expressed.

They say it's an ailment,
Some say it's an excuse,
They say it's just an emotion.
I really wish it's one of these perceptions,
Yet it's beyond these notions.

Don't need to close my eyes to see the darkness,
cos'  I  am living with my companion named 'gloom' in this world called 'emptiness'.

Tell me when the shooting star comes by.
I just want to wish for this nightmare to end.
I just want to wish to see the bright sun.
Am I being greedy? Is it a lot to wish for?

Everyday I fight with the demons living in my head.
Every night I slow dance with the devil in me.
I will wear the same grey sweater and
meet the devil tonight too.