Unexpectedly Theirs

ONE ( Indigo ) EDITED

 There are times that I wish I would of ended my life but that wouldn't of solved anything, well for me it probably would of but he would of pound someway to bring me back just to kill me himself. The bruises from last week are still somewhat visible across my back and thighs and the stitches I had to have were taken out yesterday leaving me with yet another pale red scar along my right hip-bone. I ask myself everyday why I'm still hear and why I stay, take today for example he was sweet and kind even made me breakfast this morning before he started getting ready for work then as I was washing the dishes while he was changing things switched in his mind and he became his same old self. "Fucking hell Indigo your so fucking worthless I sware" I felt his slap before I sensed him behind me, normally I would been on guard and steady enough to take the hit with out falling but this time he was quicker and I went down shattering the dish I was washing when I fell. "Fucking worthless" he grumbled as he walked out the door leaving me stunned, bleeding and wondering what I had done this time. Hearing the sound of his keys clank against the front door followed by the click of the lock in the silent apartment made me fear what it might bring. I was always afraid when ever it came to him coming home because I never knew what side of him would be coming home or at what time. I myself had just gotten home not to long ago and was now standing by the kitchen counter with a freshly made cup of mint tea when my fearful wide eyes watch him walk through the door with his face once handsome face set in a hard glare "You" he says pointing directly at me while he marches across the living space towards me. "Your nothing but a worthless piece of shit you know that" he growls out aggressively grabbing my right arm spilling the contents of my cup all over my arm. The burn from the hot tea is nothing compared to what's to come only this time I have know idea why he's angry, then again I rarely ever truly know why. He let's me go with a hard shove to one side and I catch my balance awaiting what's to come as he stands in front of me pinching the bridge of his nose as if stuck in thought. Then all of a sudden he turns around and starts walking back over to his backpack and takes out his phone, then throws it across the room right at my head  "I told you to fucking charge it" he bite's out. "I'm sorry" I say taking a few steps back as he takes one forward, all that's about to happen is because I forgot to charge his phone. I once got a beating because he stubbed his own toe on the edge of the coffee table so this doesn't surprise me. "Worthless fucking nasty bitch. Your nothing but a lazy ass cunt" he says then slaps me hard across the face knocking me down to the kitchen floor. "I-I ss-said sorry" his hand makes contact with my cheek again shutting me up and forcing me to brace myself for what ever else is to come. "I don't fucking care" he grounds out along with another slap to my already sore cheek this time even harder then before making my left eye feel like it could pop out of it's socket "I don't know why the fuck I'm still with you, your so fucking ugly and worthless you make me fucking sick" The sting his words once made me feel has now gone away along with my feelings for him. His words used to make me feel like life wasn't worth living and I believed him when he would tell me how worthless I was because I was nothing to anyone who ever came into my life but a burden, but now that feeling has vanished making his harsh words nothing but noise. Bracing myself up on my elbows I feel something I haven't in so long, strength.

 A small surge of courage courses through my veins and I bite back with as much attitude and venom as I could muster saying "Then fucking leave" Yeah see that was a mistake and I knew it the moment the words left my mouth and his broke out with a sinister smile. "What the fuck did you just say" I shake my head no not wanting to repeat myself and try to get away knowing that if I dare to repeat what I had just said the 'punishment' will be worse then It's already going to be. Do I regret my words and the small moment of bravery that passed through my body only moments ago yes, I can truthfully say yes I do. "I fucking ASKED YOU A QUESTION!" he says grabbing me off the floor by my shirt while yelling in my face, then letting me go only to grab a handful of my hair. I don't answer his question keeping my mouth sealed shut. I don't dare let out a single sound or whimper even though I can feel my own scalp being pulled away from my skull. I know that if I answer him it won't matter and it doesn't. The next hour or so goes by in a slow blur and I'm sure I passed out at some point during the time he held me under his mursales assult. The sound from the repetitive punches, kicks, slaps and even the whooshing of his belt through the air reverberate off the walls of our small studio apartment as he continues to "punish" me to at some point during his angry assault possibly forgetting what he was doing it for and just continued because he needed the release. I always wondered if our neighbors could hear what was going on or if they just didn't care enough to call for help or maybe he had them somehow wrapped around his fingers in believing that I'm the crazy one who abuses him. I wouldn't put it past him. "Stupid fucking bitch clean yourself up" he tells me then spits on the hardwood floor next to my bleeding head turning on his heels he walks into the room and back out with his charger in hand "I'll be back later". After he left I stayed on the floor with so many things running though my mind, so many questions I wonder if I'll ever get answer to, so many emotions I wonder if I'll ever understand.