Hold On

Chapter 1

TW: this chapter contains mention, reaction to, and description of a suicide attempt. please read carefully and with caution if anything of the sort triggers you.

stay safe lovelies 💙

-lynx 🦋

•

Ever since Kurt and Blaine met each other their lives have been amazing. Yes, they still had their struggles with homophobic bullies, crippling insecurities, and battles with their mental health, but they always seem to pull through. They were there for one another no matter what.

Through the years they had made quite a name for themselves. After highschool they moved to New York, Kurt got into Parsons for fashion design and Blaine went to NYU for music performance and technology. While in his second year Kurt got an internship at Vogue.com and quickly grew with the company after graduation. He soon became well known in the fashion world and with much support quit his job at Vogue and started his own company and fashion line. Meanwhile Blaine had signed a record deal following a performance during his third year at NYU, he released an album before he even graduated and quickly started to gain a fanbase of his own.

Everyone who knew of them knew they were together, they were inseparable. Any event that Kurt had Blaine would be there and any show Blaine had vice versa.

So to say the least their lives were great. Until that day, that horrible, awful day that broke the world's, but mostly Blaine's, heart in half.

-

A crash against the wall and a slam of a door was all Blaine heard from where he was sitting in the kitchen. Kurt had had a particularly bad day, so Blaine simply tried to help calm him down but Kurt refused his help.

"I'm not a baby Blaine, stop treating me like one!"

"Well maybe if you start taking your meds again I wouldn't have to!"

That was right before Kurt walked away from him and into their bathroom, and by the look on Kurt's face Blaine could tell he went too far. So he decided to give him some space.

/Loving and fighting, accusing, denying
I can't imagine a world with you gone/

Kurt stopped taking his antidepressants around six months ago and recently Blaine had noticed that he had begun falling again. He hadn't said anything because originally he had agreed to it. Kurt's therapist had offered the idea, he had been doing well the past few years and believed Kurt would be fine.

But now Blaine didn't like it anymore, Kurt was angry and anxious all the time. He was losing weight quickly and hardly ever ate anymore. Blaine would find him frozen at the dining table, trapped in his own thoughts. He had even come to him in tears, multiple times, and it would take Blaine around an hour or two to calm him down.

Blaine was scared for him, and wanted him to go back on his pills. He had been meaning to sit down and talk to him about it, but everytime he wanted to, Kurt either had a bad day or was tired and just wanted to sleep. He didn't blame him, he couldn't, it simply wasn't his fault.

/The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of
I'd be so lost if you left me alone/

But that didn't mean Blaine stopped worrying about him. Knowing Kurt's past with his depression, Blaine constantly wanted to be in the same room with him, scared of what he would do by himself… to himself.

At that thought Blaine stood up and looked at the clock, it had been almost thirty minutes and Kurt was still in the bathroom. The bathroom where they kept his meds and their shaving razors. The same bathroom where years ago Kurt had once cut himself deep enough to need stitches.