When the party's over by
Billie Eillish &
We will be not all together by Rothy
Jeon Jungkook sighs as he steps into his empty and silent apartment. It was one of those days where he felt most lonely.
He had just come from Namjoon's house, where everyone either got married or was already taken, except him. He was the exception.
What was so hard to love about me? He would ask this question over and over again, but every time the answer would always be: you just haven't met them yet. He sighs each time hearing this. What if he never meets the one? What if he's destined to be alone for all of eternity?
His eyes started to water when he pictured his friends having kids and playing with them, but he was there all alone. He was happy for his friends of course, but he couldn't help but feel jealous. Jealous of what they have. A person to go home to and rant to, a person that would love and understand him.
He wiped his face and took his coat off, walking to his closet to put it away. He was about to close the door when he saw it.
At first, it seemed strange. It was placed in the corner of the closet, sitting on top of a box from work. He didn't remember bringing a bright orange shoebox with him when he moved. When he brought it to eye level and read the label, he instantly knew the purpose of the box.
It was marked "Busan memories".
He walked to his couch, box in hand, trying to recall how he didn't spot such a bright box until now. He sat down and placed the box in front of him.
A few nostalgic items like toys and pictures should be in it, but he couldn't help but feel nervous and scared. Scared that if he sees the content the box held, he would want to run back to that person. The person he had come to envy and hate.
His memories in Busan were bearable to say the least. When he looks back at his childhood, he would say that he felt wronged and the world was against him.
At the age of 7, his sister got in a tragic car accident and was left in a coma. The doctor said there was a 2% chance she would wake up, and that little glimmer of hope kept the Jeon family's heart burning. They would put in the effort of visiting her every weekend, like gathering for church. The little Jungkook was sad and never fully accepted the fact his sister sacrificed herself for a reckless child, but nevertheless, he attended their gatherings.
He then met someone 2 years later who changed his view of the sad world, and helped him heal. They were inseparable and in love. But he soon opened his eyes and realized that the world isn't a pastoral romance. That the universe won't just allow him to live peacefully.
He braced himself as he opened the box, strongly guarding his heart. He didn't want to restore what should be broken. Most of the content was filled with memories of them, when they were naive kids that thought they would be friends for all of eternity.
The first thing he saw was his old iron man figure. He slowly let his guard down, relieved to see something so simple and lovely. He used to carry that thing everywhere, wishing to be able to build a suit exactly like that. He placed it down next to him, eyeing the next thing.
Memories flashed back when he looked at the seven loose polaroids lingering on top of his other memories. His dad used to take them fishing every Sunday. She would get sunburned every time, but it was her own fault for rejecting the sunscreen every time. He placed the pictures next to his iron man figure, moving onto his other items.
Their bestie rings were the next thing to attract him. She had begged him to wear them. But of course, he wasn't going to give in so easily. She actually forgot about them for a few weeks, but then when she realized his soft spot for banana milk, she used it against him, and eventually he gave in and put the cold silver jewelry on his middle finger. He actually outgrew it and could only fit the small ring on his pinky finger.
A few other items were just nostalgic objects she used to wear 24/7 like her velvet purple scrunchie and her bright blue bucket hat. He didn't know how it got in the box, but memories of her skipping in each object popped in his head. She was always her happiest when she wore pastel things.
He continued looking through the box curiously. Many miscellaneous things appeared here and there, like his favorite pen, his old harmonica, but the next thing to have major significance to him was a piece of crumpled paper that had sat in one of the corners of the box.
Squinting at the crumpled paper in his hands, he read aloud:
Jiah-yah~
I need to be honest. From day 1, from when you walked into kindergarten with your bright red shoes and your stubby legs, from when you sat next to me and shook my hand, I knew. I knew you were special. You were different.
I like you.
I've liked you since the third grade when you scraped your knee and asked me for help.. but I was always too chicken to ask you out. But I'm manning up now. I like you.
Jungkook smiled at the confession his baby-self came up with. He never did use the letter. He was still too chicken to ask her out, then it became too late to ask her. Not because she was taken, but because she had broken his heart before he could complete it.
His desperate spirit continued digging through the remnants of his memories with her. He didn't realize this, but he was looking for something. More specifically a reason, a reason he shouldn't have left her.
His baseball cap
His old fishing hook
An expired banana milk coupon
Then he saw a glimmer of hope. A letter addressed to him, Jeon Jungkook.
YOU ARE READING
forgotten memories | JJK
Fanfiction❝Loving can hurt.❞ He loved her. He thought she loved him too. But her past haunted them. Their bond was broken. They couldn't look at eachother the same anymore. But he still loved her. That was then. He grew up. He realized how stupid he was, unti...
