Sweet Insanity

*Flashbacks* [EDITED]

This chapter contains suicide, Self harm.⚠️ This a short chapter.

Thanks for reading this book <3 _______________________________________________________________________

Third person

It was the first day in this asylum, Naruto had lost control. screaming, crying, killing himself over and over then coming back again. he wen't numb. He grew tired of repeating. he just snapped inside. He killed all of those people, He wasn't going to lie to himself, He knew it felt incredible taking a human life, It felt too good. it was indescribable. Killing them in cold blood. 

But everyone hated him even more, their point of view was that Naruto killed those innocent for no reason. but they kept, No one dare mention that day. fearing Naruto might kill them too.

The third hokage suggested a therapist for Naruto. But that therapist was just like the others, Loathing him, Trying to kill him, Making him feel worse than he already was, How could this one be any different? They were all the same. 

They walking into the room and sat down at the tables, Naruto looked numb. He wore rags as clothes, His hair was longer but greasy. But that wasn't nothing compared to his eyes.

He's eyes were vacant of happiness, those deep ocean eyes were filled with loneliness, anger, sadness, despair, resentment.   

"Naruto don't you feel anything? for those people you killed?". She asked him.

He slowly turned towards her. 

"No". that the only thing he said. It held no emotion. why would it? it was the truth, Those people treated him horrible, They thought a 5 min old baby destroyed the village, killed their loved ones, they were the ones who fucked him up not the other way around, they had gotten what they deserved.

Naruto POV  

WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO GUILT!??! FOR KILLING THE PEOPLE WHO TOOK MY BROTHER AWAY FROM ME! I LOST EVERYTHING, BECAUSE OF THEM, EVERYTHING WAS FINE! WHY! WHY! WHY DID IT HAVE TO CHANGE!??! WHY!?! WHY DID I HAVE TO BE THE JINCHURIKI! WHY DID THEY HAVE TO KILL ME BROTHER! WHY? DOES GOD HATE ME! THE ONLY THING I HAD LEFT! GONE!

I'M DONE! I'M FUCKING DONE! I'VE LOST EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING THAT EVER MEANT ANYTHING TO ME! I CAN'T EVEN FIND MY MATE! I HAVE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING!

"You don't remorse for the people that you ruthlessly slaughter, All because they called you something that you are!". she screamed in my face. 

it wasn't just that how could it be, it was the raping, the beatings, my brother. shaming my parents. saying my mother was a slut, my father a bitch.

Now i recognized her, She was the sole survivor of that day because i blacked out. that lucky bitch.

Tears now run down my face as i recall the memories of how they laughed at my brother Deidara's screams.

I started to shake uncontrollably. I recalled the happy memories with him. They all are clouded by the villagers laughter. NO! i screamed over and  over seeing my brother fade from my mind. 

NO YOU DON'T DARE TELL ME TO FEEL BAD ABOUT THEM WHEN THEY DID THIS TO ME! I WILL NOT SIT HERE AND LET YOU AND YOUR SORRY DEAD FAMILY PLAY VICTIM! THEY FUCKED WITH MY MIND! I WASN'T BORN A MONSTER! YOU MADE ME INTO ONE BITCH!". I screamed in her face.

"Your still just a monster just like your bastard of a brother!". She screamed. That was it. I couldn't hold back. I Ripped her head off with a sicken crack. I pulled her clean off, her head was on the floor still attached to her spine. she reaped what she sowed.

I fell to the floor on my knees. Screaming and crying. i couldn't take it. The little bitch was right! i am a monster! my brother and parents were dead because of me! I kept hitting myself in the head yelling. SHUT UP! To the voices in my head, they screamed in my mind.

MONSTER!

USELESS!

WORTHLESS!

DEMON!

KILLER!

I couldn't stop it, it overwhelmed me, I let out a blood piercing scream. i was consumed by darkness and killed everyone at the asylum. I stood in front of the burning asylum. I just stared into the flaming.

Then i found the answer.

Kill everyone and everything! There's no one left that matters! My mate doesn't exist! There's nothing left no reason to try to keep living. No reason to push through!

When i was younger i held the anger, the pain, the sadness, loneliness. But i can't take it anymore! playing it off, saying i don't care when deep down i do care, i'm hurting but no ones there to help. Saying i'm being dramatic, saying that it didn't matter, laughing at me like i was a joke, like i didn't have feelings. The physical pain just clouds the mental pain.

I can't take it!

I won't take it anymore!