~you got drunk for a long time~
It hangs from the day we saw each other. It was just a second, your face has already blurred in depth of my memory, from which sometimes small parts pass into reality, pass in the form of unreal dreams that blur your gaze in a state of awakening.
I was admitted to the state university. It was like a heavy stone that fell from my shoulders, and I felt that lightness and wanted to fill my head with something heavy. I chose very exotic method for a person who was trying to never make any mistake in their whole life. Summer evening was peaceful, hot, breathtaking wind was gently rocking the trunks of trees. In this noisy silence the sounds of brakes, signals, squeaks could be heard here and there, and the sky seemed to invite me to dance with its red, drunken look.
It wasn't very crowded, in the heat of summer people were clinging to the outside, looking for a piece of air to greedily steal from another one, and here I was looking for a piece of wine, although at the last moment I realized that what I found wasn't wine, it was some alcoholic miracle that they call cocktail. There's something dark and mysterious in it, especially when it's made with a secret recipe. Such a secret recipe brought me to your clear, bright face, which shone before my blurred eyes for only a second.
–A glass of whiskey, please.(to the phone) Yes, I talked to her. She said she would not come. What a nonsense! You should only persuade her well. Oh really? Is she a saint or something? What?... He said that about ME?... (to me) Oh I'm sorry. (to the phone) Wait a minute.
–Everything's okay, you don't have to say sorry.
–No, it was my fault, I was a bit careless. But... How old are you?
–Is it really important?
–(chuckles) Just wanna know how small you are.
I left it unanswered, a pleasent nervous violin played in my heart, I gripped the stick hermetically with my lips and took a quick sip, then the 2nd, 3rd...
–Hey, you shouldn't drink that much, you're still a kid, your parents won't look at you with friendly looks after seeing you like this.
I didn't make any sound, but you probably understood what was on my mind with some grace...
–If you want me to treat you like an adult, tell me your age.
My miserable condition was truly laughable. I should've leaved earlier...
–(to the phone) Hello? Ah, I said I'd call, can't I take a breath for a minute? Listen, don't tell him anything, I'll do. And I will get the final answer for the party today or tomorrow.
The twilight was slowly floating outside, the lights of the lamps scattered like small islands on a dark, but actively vibrating street. The neon lights on the shop windows were modestly calling to say that you were late: they've already closed. The round, milky plate of the Moon was shining with silver light scattering all around. The street was so happy and bright, it was swinging around me as if I were in an endless movement of a carousel. Actually we are all there, in that movement, bot not all of us notice the speed, momentum, direction of those turns.
I was drunk, at least that was what I thought. I don't know how many glasses of wine I drank, but I am sure that that cocktail with secret recipe did everything, maybe it wasn't only it but...
–Do you think that I can let you go somewhere alone in this condition?
I don't know how you happened to appear next to me, but I wasn't that satisfied with that. I became especially nervous when you gently squeezed my little fist, which was supposed to hit you, in your warm hand, and with that disgusting act you filled my head with a cold shower. My hesitant face was probably so funny that you took on such a comic face.
–Calm down please, I'll order a taxi now.
The violin kept in a corner of my heart complained, he was joined by two cellos and a flute so that they could present this new melody of my heart with all its charm.
Neon lights, yellow islands were running by the window, at that speed people seemed like black, faden stars that fell from the sky. Maybe our souls are the falling stars that fall on this planet, some are already completely faded, some are still shining, trying to illuminate this planet with a peace of candlelight that belongs to them. The thoughts of my sick imagination were whispered to my ears like a balm by the voice in my head that everyone has. It is different and unique for each of us, but at the same time it's the same voice that many do not hear, many listen with great pleasure, many engage in dialogue with it, debate...
When we arrived, I felt an obviously bitter taste in my mouth. Your hand wasn't gently squeezing my little one, and the night was heavier than usual.
–Well, you said that this is the building of your apartment, we've arrived. (whispers in my ear) And now there's nothing left to say, isn't it? Good night.
With an angry gesture I snatched your hat and jumped out of the car. I thought you would get out, you would reach that hand of yours to me, you would try to take your hat back, but there was such a gentle smile on your face as if everything was going as you predicted... I hope you'll come to take your hat one day.
