Alice in Hell (Alpha/Omega)

Alice Learning

ALICE POV

My mates have been overprotective ever since I've gotten home, especially after that incident with Seokmin. I was never left alone without at least one Alpha and Omega, just in case of a panic attack. I love them all very dearly but this was getting out of hand. A month has passed and nothing has changed since the first day, well except for my lack of privacy.

The panic attack never stopped, I was still scared shitless every time one of them didn’t make their presence clear and it was truly hurting me. I just wanted to go back to a time where all of this hurt wasn’t here and we could live in peace together.

Namjoon had convinced me to start therapy, saying I needed help from a professional that specializes in trauma and I wanted to scream at him that they were enough, that I wasn’t broken beyond repair and needed that kind of help. But reality stopped me from doing that, if I just looked down at my arms I could see the scratch marks scorn my skin, never truly allowed to heal. 

It wasn't even myself who noticed this, no it was Jin that had very carefully pointed it out to me. I had run to the bathroom that day to look it over and sure enough, scratch marks on my wrists, arms, neck, stomach, legs and ankles were littering my body. It had become the norm for me whenever something mildly stressful started and it just got worse in case of a panic attack or a nervous breakdown as I had no control over that. 

What had I become in the span of time I have been home, I didn’t use to be this gone. 

 

"How is it that you feel uncomfortable?" she asked. Her voice was silk smooth, always making sure to speak softly and with an understanding tone and I was not sure if I liked it or not, it seemed fake. She pushed her glasses to their correct placement as she shifted in her seat to sit more comfortably, a leg over the other's knee. In one hand she had her notepad, while the other held a pen with just a tiny bit of ink on her fingertips. She had been writing down everything I had said as far as I could see and more on top of that. 

"It just that they are starting to become overbearing against me,"

"Do you have an idea on why that may be?"

"I know why but I'm tired of being treated like I’m breakable. I know that I'm still shaken up from the whole ordeal but I just want them back and I can't feel them like normal which honestly scares me. It's almost like being treated like a child again... I don't know..." My eyes looked anywhere but at her as my hands caught the hem of my hoodie’s sleeve that was already showing signs of tear probably from the constant rubbing. She nodded before scribbling down some more on the notepad, the sound seemed louder than it probably was. 

"Have you thought about telling them your boundaries?" she asked earnestly but I could only scoff. She said it like it was an easy task to do when it was concerning my mates.

"It's just hard..."

 

I was allowed to go with them to the company after two months and I felt relieved but nervous. Jimin was currently holding my hand as we walked together to the elevator, he was reassuring me the whole way, saying every encouragement he could think of. He kept saying that everything would be okay and that I would not be left alone in the time they would be here. I knew it came from a good place and a kind heart but it honestly felt claustrophobic as I would always have eyes on me while being here.