"Well somebody told me
That I would be a dreamer for life
Somebody told me I would never reach the other side"
I looked around one final time. This was my home. I thought I had the perfect family. As a child, that was my one dream, and I was told it would come true, but it never did. Well not with him. We where always arguing and we never reached the other side of the argument.
"Well you say I'm old news, but cross your fingers
I'm yours to lose.
What if I told you, that things will never improve"
All my friends told me to move on, that he wasn't worth it. But he's mine, and I'm his...but that also means I'm his to loose...If I stayed, things would improve... But they wouldn't... I had proved this to myself countless times before yet I still refused to believe it. Why? I'm an idiot, that's why. I thought he cared, but I guess I was wrong... Again, like always.
"And if I lived a lie
Would someone meet me on the other side
So I can burn up bright,
(so I can burn, so I can burn)"
He found out I wasn't who I said I was. I couldn't tell him who I was, as a S.H.I.E.L.D agent! Of course his brother ruined that, considering he practically is the British Government.wanted someone who could live with that, who would help me overcome my nightmare of a childhood! Was that to much to ask?
"The grass is always greener,
Someone else's past is always cleaner,
But I'm a believer, that there's a fool in all of us"
I would look at other couples and think why I could never have a relationship like that, and that killed me inside. I had to much of a track record but I truly did believe that he'd be able to forgive me for that, considering his past, but I guess I'm a fool for thinking that.
"And if I lived a lie
Would someone meet me on the other sideSo I can burn up bright
Oh, I don't really know where our ghosts go
No, I don't really know where Our ghosts go
So live a lie just tonight, tonight"
I don't know what will happen when I leave, I don't want to forget him, I don't want to leave him! I have to...our relationship has been reduced to a ghost, and its my fault. Again.
"We are believers, we are believers
We are believers, we are believers
We are believers, we are believers
We are believers, we are believers
We are believers, we are believers
We are believers, we are believers
We are believers, we are believers
We are, we are."
I had to believe in myself. I could do this! I would find a man who could love me for me! I am able of finding that special someone, its just...I don't know when. I don't know how, but it will! All because I believe!
"If I lived a lie
Would someone meet me on the other side
So I can burn up bright
And if I lived a lie
Would someone meet me on the other side
So I can burn up bright"
There has to be someone out there who could live with my mistakes or even just let me live a lie. Then I'd be happy. Wouldn't I?
"Oh, I don't really know where our ghosts go
No, I don't really know where our ghosts go,
So live a lie just tonight, tonight
And burn up bright."
I hope I'll see Sherlock Holmes again. I loved him; I still love him! I don't know what will happen to us; to our relationship when I leave Baker Street. If he let me live my lie then I would still be here...but could I do that? Live on as if that never happened? I had to face it someday, I'm tired of running away from my past. I had to face up to it. Then I could burn bright!
And that's what I did!
