look at the stars | sunsun

thirteen.

Eventually the bandages are removed from his face, but the darkness clouding him stays. The impact from the crash has done irreversible damage to a vital part of his optic nerves; a corneal transplant won't make any difference in restoring his vision. The rest of his eyes remain intact, but the doctors say there's nothing more they can do.

Heeseung, Coach Bang, his parents, Jungwon and Daniel and the other teammates form an intermittent rotating door of visitors throughout the days of his recovery at the hospital. He tells them apart only by their voices. There's not much else he can go by anymore.

Heeseung reads off the clock in the room so Sunghoon knows the time whenever he enters and leaves. After a while, Sunghoon doesn't have to ask for it. Heeseung is the best comfort he can get, and he's grateful for the older boy's company in itself.

Coach Bang tells him not to worry about skating. He doesn't have to ever do it again, if he doesn't want to from now on.

His parents tell him they're not disappointed in him. They never have been, and they never will be.

Jungwon and Daniel don't seem like they know what to say. They talk about everyday things, funny coincidences, interesting occurrences, anything they think Sunghoon will be interested in.

The words don't always get through to him, but he appreciates all of them in their own different ways. Sitting alone in the dark all day in an empty room will likely drive him up the wall even faster than it's already going.

There's more to life than being the best.

Sunghoon thinks about Heeseung.

A year older than him, started skating when he was just five, trained for five years before Sunghoon showed up. Heeseung had paved the way for South Korea in the international junior skating league, easily taking firsts and seconds in competitions at home and away. He'd dedicated his life to skating, even more so than Sunghoon, yet-

"First place, representing South Korea, Sunghoon Park!"

"And now, in first place, Park Sunghoon!"

"Sunghoon Park, South Korean ace figure skater!"

Had he ever blamed Sunghoon for outshining him?

Had he ever thought about giving up on himself?

Had he ever collapsed in the dead of winter, crying blood into the snow, thoughts screaming inside his head to end it all?

There's a lot more to life than being the best.

Sunghoon thinks about how strong Heeseung has to be, to have gone through worse than he did and come out stronger than anyone else had ever been.

There is a lot he has to learn from Heeseung, and he wonders if he'll ever get there in his lifetime.

─

A system establishes itself, after a while. His parents always sit in for a while in the morning before going to work, Coach Bang always comes in during lunch, Heeseung and the other skaters in the team take turns in the evenings. It is in one of the afternoons that a new visitor inserts himself into the system, someone no one had ever expected would appear.

Sunghoon hears the door swing open and closed again.

"Who's that?"

Coach Bang sounds equally surprised when he answers. "It's-"

"It's Kim Sunoo." The other person in the room cuts in before Coach Bang has to reply, and Sunghoon immediately recognises his voice. "Remember me?"