"Angel what the hell!?"
that's what I woke up to. I guess she saw what I did to her face. mwahahaha! I so cool.
"what is it Chloe?" I asked innocently.
"who the hell writes unicorn sex on someone's forehead?!"
I busted out laughing.
"I'm sorry but it was awesome!"
"whatever bitch." she said jokingly. "let's go to Lewis's."
"ok!"
after she washed her face and we changed we were getting in the car. I turned on the radio.
"I'm sexy and u know it!"
i had the window down and was yelling sexy and I know it to some old lady walking on the sidewalk.
"shut up you slutty dumbass!" yelled the old lady.
is that old lady serious!? whoa! that old lady has a mouth! meanie.
"hey grandma that's not nice! you ruined our generation!" shouted Chloe.
before the old wrinkly bat could
traumatize us with her foul language. ha!
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after our unfriendly exchange if words with granny shits alot we got to Lewis's.
"hey I have a great idea." I said.
"what." Lewis and Chloe spoke together.
"lets play truth or dare "
we got our snack and drinks then started to play.
"ok ok! my turn! ok Chloe you have to...go next door to the neighbor and tell him that you love to squeeze his man boobs and smell his juicy farts." I smiled. Teehee I'm evil.
"what!? hell no!" shouted Chloe. what a baby.
"would you rather Bob the unicorn eat you face and shit it back on?" damn I hilarious
Lewis and Chloe exchanged a look before Chloe got up and and walked next door.
"excuse me Mr. Jackson." she started. oh she looked so scared. which is why I'm videoing it.
"I would like to inform you that I love squeezing you man boobs and smelling your juicy farts."
he stared at her then winked. HE EFFING WINKED!
"would you like to come inside darling." God he sounded like a child molester.
Chloe eyes widened and she ran back to my house screaming.
just then my parents thought it'd be a great time to call.
"Angel? Angel get home right now and pack. you leave tomorrow."
without answering i hung up.
"sorry guys Mr.kiss my ass and miss ill screw anything want me home. promise you'll come say bye in the morning?"
they both nodded and Chloe took me home.
"bye Chloe." I said then trudged up the stairs to my hell hole.
"go pack now." growled my father.
wtf my dad growled.....he's possessed. I bolted up the stairs scared he'd do some voodoo magic on me.
I went to my room and packed clothes and some other personal items.
I looked at the clock to see it was 7:00. I ate some Roman noodles. yum! then went to bed.
I fell asleep thinking of unicorns talking to hippos in Narnia. wtf I am fucked up!
tomorrow will be the day my life is ruined.
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Viola! funny? don't like it? if you don't like it go ride your tricycle. so there you go heather. my turn to bother you! naw I'm jking we all no I'm Amazing :D stay sexy and tickle old men!
~brittany
