My alarm blares and wakes me up out of my dreams. I lie in bed for a few minutes, lost in my thoughts. He's my best friend. Nothing more. Well that's what everyone else thinks, not what I think. I can't believe he hasn't noticed the way I look at him, the way I think about him. I mean, we're best friends right? He should be able to read me. He has Ali though.. and I have Anne- Marie. But the way he giggles when he finds something funny, the way he isn't afraid to be honest with me, the way he will support you through everything, and how he isn't afraid to speak up and stand up for what he believes in...I'm so lucky to have him as my best friend. I just wish we could be more...I just want Dec to be my boyfriend. Yes, I'm gay. Or at least I think I am. Or maybe I'm bi. But things have never worked out with the women in my life, probably because I have told myself I loved them even though I didn't. I can never have Dec, no matter how much I lie to myself. It's forbidden love.
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I wish he was gay, like me. That way we could live our lives together, grow old together, and we wouldn't need to keep such big secrets such as mine from one another. I get up out of bed and wish that he was there, that he had been led beside me the whole night, as a comfort. I head over to my kitchen and all of a sudden, the house feels quiet. Lonely. Well it's not a surprise I guess, I do live alone, but its just a little depressing how the house is so quiet, not what I was used to as a child. I want to go back to my childhood, before I knew I was gay! I plug my earphones in and 'Let's Get Ready to Rhumble' begins to play. I smile as I hear the voices of Dec and I from 27 years ago, when I didn't know how I would feel about him now. I wish things could be how they used to be. When we were younger I knew how lucky I was to have such a strong friendship with him. But as I have matured I have started to wonder if it isn't just a friendship, if it's love. I walk down the street, dodging the constant cameras trying to construct some fake news from my minuscule actions. 'Ant Mcpartlin looks thoughtful as he takes a stroll, without Declan by his side.' I wish they would just leave me alone, let me live my life and not disturb me every minute. Imagine if they knew the truth hiding behind our friendship If I wanted to be viral, I would just admit my love for him to them all. I can already see the headlines, 'Ant Mcpartlin Scandal!' I look around, observing the world going on outside my mind. As I look to my right I see parents pointing me out to their children: 'Look! It's Ant and Dec!' I hate it when people do that, they don't know who is who. Sometimes I wish I wasn't in show business at all, that I was just a normal passer-by and I don't get noticed everywhere I go. Suddenly a black limousine pulls up and rolls down the passenger window and the driver, wearing black shades, says, "We need to start saying no to stuff.". (This is one of Dec's many famous phrases) After I hear these words, I climb into the back of the limo and we drive off towards Wembley. It's time.
