Temporary

Chapter 1

(Two years later: January 2013)

(Felix's Perspective)

I woke up with a start, jolting upright and stumbling to my feet. Something was crawling over my arms, tickling any exposed veins and sending shivers down my spine. My breath caught in my throat when I noticed the roaches having a congressional hearing on my forearms.

"Shit!" I let out a bit of a screech. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" Shaking my body and cursing like a mad man, I managed to get the creatures off my body. They fell to the ground, meeting their maker when my worn hiking boot crushed their sorry bodies. Leaning against a brick wall behind me, I let out a sigh of relief, only to have icy chills course through my body. Surveying myself, I cursed again and rubbed at my bare arms.

Must have had another nightmare and it came off, I thought, cautiously bending down and finding my old jean jacket on top of a couple tattered blankets. Sighing, I took it under my arm and searched the small duffel next to me for another hoodie. The jean jacket was old and didn't fit that well thanks to a four-inch growth spurt, but when paired with another hoodie, it was the perfect thing to keep me warm in the winter. My brown sweatshirt was at the top of the small bag, and I slipped it on over a dirty wife-beater without hesitation. It fit poorly too, but it was still warm.

Once I was equipped for the weather and my things were quickly gathered in the black duffel, I stood up again, stretching my aching back and legs. My reflection faintly showed up in the glass of my dad's old watch. My light brown, slightly curly hair was sticking up in all directions, and it was obvious that I hadn't shaved in a while. Shrugging, I gathered my things and left the dreary alleyway anyway. It was early morning, and I would just get lost in the crowds anyway.

~~~

According to my father's watch, it was just after seven in the morning. Sunlight peaking out from behind thick clouds over head, the unforgiving breeze whistled through the air and formed a beat with my footsteps. I shoved my way through the masses, keeping my bag clutched at my side and hands to myself. I crossed paths with other people my age, some who just scoffed in my direction. They looked like I once had, smiling and letting their laughter form little clouds in the air. My eyes rolled as I practically pushed a college kid out of my way, and I laughed without humor when sent me the bird.

"Fuck off," He said bitterly as I pushed past him.

My head shook in response as I finally gained some personal space on the sidewalk. My eyes stayed glued on the pavement under my feet, however, once I approached a street corner, something caught the corner of my eye. It was an elderly man with a scraggly, gray beard and blackened eyes sitting cross-legged at the corner, a tin can next to him and cardboard sign in his lap. It said what the rest of Manhattan's homeless population's chicken scratch said; he just wanted some spare change.

I refused to look at the man and admit my empty pockets. I had given up on that method months before when I realized that I didn't fall within the age range where people hand their hearts and wallets out. Children and the elderly received the most attention because they were regarded as "helpless." I was still young, physically intact for the most part and carrying around a high school diploma. There was no reason why someone should have felt sorry for me.

"Spare change, young man?" A voice croaked from below me, and as I turned while waiting for the light to change, I saw the man's swollen, lifeless eyes looking into mine.

An aching sensation tore at my heart as I unwillingly shrugged my shoulders. I didn't have the money to buy myself some bread, let alone give any of it out. "I'm sorry, sir," I responded with reluctance, swallowing a lump in my throat and dashing across the street with the masses to avoid his heartbroken gaze. As sorry as I felt for him, I kept thinking how much I didn't want to end up like him in fifty years, if I was still alive. If I would have been in his shoes, I would have taken myself away long before that age.