Live Again, Love Anew

Chapter 12- Reviewing Notes: Chord Assassination and Secret Engagements

Summary

Wei Ying finds out Mao Fenfang is engaged. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan review notes. Lan Zhan can't sleep.

Beginning Note

I always find it interesting to switch perspectives in a story. Each person views the world differently, and no two people know the same things.

Lan Zhan perspective in this chapter. Enjoy!

Mao Fenfang

This might be my last entry for... awhile. I- Well, I'm not even supposed to write about it- But if I don't mention any names, I guess it would be okay, so... I got engaged today.

It's secret for now, and not official yet, so we're just kind of going to keep it quiet until some people are met with and the engagement is finalized.

I... kind of had an argument with the Elders awhile ago, so if they hear about this, they'll break it off. We can't let that happen, not with the pressure being put onto my- fiancé right now.

My fiancé says there is someone else, but that he can't reveal who they are to the Elders yet. I'm acting as a placeholder of sorts, but I'm not sad. If anything I'm angry. He's barely 18, and they want him to get married-?!

Sorry, but anyway, with the political environment as it is now, with Wei Changze eloping at 16 and being expelled from the clan, it's not safe for my fiancé's lover right now.

I don't like men as romantic partners, and I'm not sure if this engagement will get as far as marriage, but if it does, I... don't think I'll ever be able to touch him like that. Soon enough, someone will become suspicious, and I'll either be labeled barren, or our lie will be exposed.

I don't know how long this political turmoil will last, but I hope it ends soon, for all our sakes.

I don't love him, and he loves someone else. He never said anything, but I know he wouldn't propose this engagement unless it was urgent. At this point, there may even be a child involved.

Sorry, I've already written too much, but I just needed to vent this to someone, and the only other person who knows is the person who got me into this mess in the first place.

I guess this is goodbye?

...

Wei Wuxian sits in shock for a number of reasons as he finishes reading Mao Fenfang's diary.

She had known his parents, both of them, if the Terror Bird incident is any indication. Wei Changze had eloped with Cangse Sanren at 16. At the end of Wei Wuxian's 16th year, he was already fighting in a war. It seems his father's 16th year was filled with marital bliss. Mao Fenfang was engaged to an unnamed man, but she isn't married now, and her diary ends after she tells of her engagement. It's clear from her previous entries that she's a little over 20 when she writes of the engagement. She was 26 when she became an Elder-in-training. That means there's a dead space in the records that could be anywhere from 5 years to 3 years. And take it from someone who's had their whole life turned on its head in just 3 months, that anything, literally anything, can happen in the span of years.

"Wei Ying."

Wei Wuxian startles and nearly rips out a few pages of the book. He carefully smooths out the pages and returns the book to its resting place before looking behind himself.

Lan Zhan is standing in the doorway. It must be time to go. Wei Wuxian makes one more sweep of the room, making sure everything is back in place before he and Lan Zhan leave the apartment. They still have an entire bookshelf to go through, but he doubts they'll find anything pertaining to the dead space or anything more about the engagement. Mao Fenfang made it clear that she wouldn't even write down the man's name, much less speak it.