Live Again, Love Anew

Chapter 13- Ghosts and Demons

Summary

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying arrive in Lotus Pier. Wei Ying meets some familiar people.

Beginning Note

Writing this i realized I have no idea how to make dialogue that's supposed to be diplomatic. Please don't cringe.

Lan Wangji

Lan Wangji watches as Wei Ying jokes and makes faces with a group of disciples. The laughter may be genuine, but the reason for it is not. Wei Ying has gotten increasingly more nervous and restless the closer they got to Lotus Pier.

They are in the last leg of the trip, and have forgone the horses in favor of boats. Uncle, Brother, and half the disciples are in one boat, while Lan Wangji, Wei Ying, and the rest of the disciples are in another boat.

Wei Ying had told him this morning about his childhood in Lotus Pier. His whispers were filled with pain as he spoke of his brother. His quiet words were filled with sadness as he spoke of his sister. His fear was disguised as shivers from the cold, but while it was autumn, it had been getting increasingly warmer as they got closer to Lotus Pier, not colder. The disciples had checked for fever, even though Lan Wangji knew they wouldn't find one, and they had attributed it to Wei Ying still being too thin, even though Lan Wangji knew that wasn't the case.

Lan Wangji so dearly wishes he could help Wei Ying in this, but he doesn't know what to say, or how to even approach what sounds like years of repressed trauma. Lan Wangji has trauma, but a different kind than Wei Ying's, and he himself has found that while Wei Ying forces his pain outward, Lan Wangji forces it inward.

Wei Ying will joke and tease, just so he doesn't have to think about the pain. Lan Wangji will hide it away deep inside and use routine to fall back into the mindless rhythm of living.

They are opposites in many ways, and that is why Lan Wangji has no idea how to help Wei Ying before the inevitable meeting of all his ghosts and demons.

...

Wei Wuxian isn't ready to go to Lotus Pier, but he was put on a horse and then a boat and he's going there anyway. Wei Wuxian isn't ready to face a living Uncle Jiang who looks at him with kindness, but will probably not look at him like a son. He isn't ready to face a Jiang Cheng who's little more than a toddler and still has loving parents and a loving sister. He isn't ready to look at Shijie and see her smiling and breathing and not cold and covered in blood. And Madam Yu... he doesn't know what Madam Yu will be like, and so he isn't ready for her either.

In conclusion, Wei Wuxian would much rather sit in Cloud Recesses, and eat bland food, and do calligraphy, and get scolded for talking while eating, and get praised by Uncle, and nap during nap time, because he may be an adult, but he has a child's body, and he isn't above getting nap time if its being offered, and hide from the world in the quiet, detached place called Cloud Recesses.

He's so lost in his dread that he startles as the boat docks and would have flipped over the side if it weren't for the disciple personally tasked to his care.

"You okay, kid?" The disciple, Lan Ren, if Wei Wuxian remembers correctly from when they were introduced this morning, says.

His concern is genuine, no matter that despite being from not just the Lan Sect, but the Lan Clan, his words are informal, and Wei Wuxian thinks that Lan Ren is the first person to call him something other than 'Young Master' without having to be explicitly told.

Wei Wuxian nods dumbly at the teenager's question.

Lan Ren nods approvingly. "Good. Can't have my charge drowning when I've had him for less than a day."

Wei Wuxian wants to retort that he can swim fine, but he's not sure if the ability to swim is something that transfers through time like Lan Zhan's sleeping schedule. Probably not.

Before he can say anything else, Lan Ren helps him off the boat, and Lan Zhan's babysitter, a girl the same age as Lan Ren he thinks is called Lan Lifen, helps Lan Zhan off the boat as well.

Uncle and Lan Xichen are at the head of their group as they make their way into Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan, and their babysitters are a step behind, and the rest of their group takes up the rear.

Servants meet them and lead them to the Main Hall, where clans and leaders will meet and mingle and then sit down for a feast. At the doors of the Main Hall are Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu, greeting guests with a smile (Uncle Jiang) and bows barely deep enough to be proper (Madam Yu).

"Sect Leader Lan." Uncle Jiang greets, a smile on his face.

"Sect Leader Lan." Madam Yu parrots, and her attempt at diplomacy is clear when she offers a bow just a little lower than usual. Although it's still clear that between her husband and herself, she is definitely not the most diplomatic one.

Wei Wuxian instinctively flinches at her voice, but no fear, anger, or hate boils up. He finds that even though he flinched, he can't find a reason for his flinch. He doesn't feel any phantom pain across his back. He doesn't feel the need to shrink down and submit like a sparrow before a hawk. The entire experience feels kind of anticlimactic. It's almost like he's a normal kid, and even with the memories, it's like all the emotions were taken out of them. He remembers being flayed by whip and word, but feels no anger or fear. Maybe it's a side effect of time travel?

"Sect Leader Jiang, Madam Yu." Uncle greets back. "I thank you for the hospitality in opening your home for the yearly conference."

"No need, Sect Leader Lan." Uncle Jiang says. "We are always honored when the yearly conference is to be held in our lands."

Uncle Jiang turns to the kids next. "First Young Master, Second Young Master, Young Master Wei, I understand this is your first time in Lotus Pier?"

Uncle nods. "Xichen and A-Zhan were too young to take with me last time." It doesn't need to be said why Wei Wuxian has never been to Lotus Pier.

Uncle Jiang smiles. "I'll have my children show you around." He turns and calls out, "A-Li, A-Cheng."

Shijie , who's just a little taller than Lan Xichen, and Jiang Cheng, who is the definition of baby-faced and is short enough to only reach Wei Wuxian's chin, come from around the corner where they were probably watching the guests.

Shijie . Jiang Cheng. The two people who loved him- who he loves the most.

Wei Wuxian starts to cry.

End Note

Lots of emotions. Thoughts?

Hope you enjoyed!