𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐀

⚠︎

Takemichi was laying in his dark room, just laying not sleeping. He couldn't. After all, how could he when all of his loved ones are always getting killed and the worst one of them was his fault. Naoto would disagree with the last part but he still thinks it's his fault.

"Our crybaby hero"

He laughed at that 'A hero? Who failed to save everyone? Fucking pathetic' he thought to himself. Takemichi's stress from the whole time-leaping bullshit that happened and is still happening. It's torture, and he doesn't know what to do anymore.

Slowly standing up from his bed, and opening his drawer to be greeted by a fresh pack of cigarettes. Takemichi isn't smoking all the time, he smokes when he needs to- and he needs it right now.

Closing the drawer, he sat down on the edge of his bed and lit his first cigarette, his mind cleared with the horrible thoughts that were agonizing as he puffed out a smoke. Takemichi leaned against the wall behind him.

He doesn't remember when he starts smoking, maybe when work at the present time was stressing him out.

His eyes were unfocused and tired, he doesn't really let anyone know that he's smoking, because why do they need to know how much of a loser he is, even though they probably already know that he is one. It's best if they don't know. They don't need to know.

"I'm tired" he muttered in a whisper, he wondered if everything would have been alright if he didn't just continue all of this and just go back to the future, then again even if he was in the future, Naoto would probably just scold him.

Yeah we don't want that.

Takemichi thinks that he's gonna finish this whole pack of cigarettes that's holding in his hand before he can feel his eyes shut. Not that it would matter anyway since he's still gonna have those horrible nightmares.

When they meet at the Musashi shrine for a meeting they can see their blond boy who always has bright sparkling eyes is spacing out a lot during the time of the meeting. Of course Chifuyu, Takemichi's partner, immediately noticed how the boy is always looking lost.

"Hey, Takemitchy you good?" he asked while nudging at the boy who flinched from the sudden contact "Yeah, just sleepy that's all" Takemitchy smiled at him while closing his eyes, Chifuyu knows something is up but he doesn't question it nonetheless.

The meeting finished and Takemichi just wanted to go home and curl up like a ball on his bed. The more he thinks about what's gonna happen, the more his anxiety would not let him sleep at night. It sucks and he hates it to every fiber of his body.

The other Captains looked at him in concern, especially Mitsuya in particular but of course they wouldn't question him, well at least not for now since Chifuyu is already trying to cheer up the boy by telling him they should eat some ice-cream.

Takemichi appreciates it, Chifuyu was his wonderful and loyal friend he ever had, he was grateful for the time he actually believed him when he said about that time-leaping power he has and  didn't think that he was just spouting bullshit on his face.

But even though Chifuyu has been nice and caring about him. He still died in front of his eyes, he got shot in the head, in front of him because it was all of his fault, he was weak. That's why Chifuyu died, that's why they all died.

And Takemichi couldn't stop the throbbing pain in his chest or how to stop the big fat tears that were coming his eyes. 'God, i'm so pathetic' his head was now, once again full of flashbacks and memories.

Horrific memories.

Gun shots.

Bullets.