Uncontrollable

Chapter one A beginning

I stood watching the house part of me hoping they wouldn't leave,
The wind was cold against my face and made it difficult to light my joint, my courage already failing, I ducked my head under my hoodie so no one would see my lighter flame "God Damn Wind" I thought to myself, finally my joint sparked into life, I breathed in deeply, mmmmmmmm the taste of the skunk weed was good,
The moon was shielded by thick slow moving clouds even though the wind was blowing, the sound of conversation and a car door broke me from my stoned haze,
Damn there leaving, I watched the three of them get in there car, the man and woman in the front and the young girl in the back, the headlights flicked on as the engine cracked into life, i ducked back into the trees nearly stumbling with a slight smile on my face,
This is some good weed I thought to myself, time to grow some balls as I've watched this house for four nights now,
As soon as they were out of sight I stumbled across the lawn towards the back door, fear ran through my mind,
Don't fuck this up I thought to myself as I pulled the tape from my pocket,
I took one last hit on the joint then started to tape the window, it took longer than I wanted with gloves on but I finally had the small pane of glass above the lock taped, I clenched my fist and punched, my hand bounced of the glass, oh shit I thought, my whole hand throbbing,
In my stoned state I hadn't realised it would have been easier to use a rock until this point, the pane shattered but held together on the tape, I slowly peeled the tape away and the broken pieces of glass came with it, I lifted the small drain cover at the side of the door and dropped the tape and glass down it carefully replacing it,
I put my hand through the hole where the glass used to be and turned the key in the lock, I heard the click as it opened, I turned the handle and I was in, rich bastards I thought to myself,
The kitchen was huge with an island in the Middle, pot and pans hung over it, I headed straight for the fridge across from the door, a small corridor ran down the side next to it to the lounge and front door at the far end of it,
I had the munchies real bad, not good timing but what can you do, the fridge was practically empty apart from what looked like left over food and some half drunk bottles of orange juice and wine,
I grabbed the milk, the only thing that didn't look like it had been touched, I opened it and took one sip and spat it back in the carton, dirty bastards I thought, the milk was sour and lumpy,
I suddenly realised why the kitchen was spotless, "they don't do shit in here" I said out loud, I shut the fridge and headed down the corridor looking for the toilet, a mixture of weed and sour milk had sent my stomach into a roller coaster feeling, oh god I thought, sweat started pouring from my forehead, the first door I opened was a utility room full of coats and shoes, no fucking help I thought, I closed it and headed for the door a little further down just before the lounge, thank fuck I thought as I opened it, I closed the door behind me and slid on to the White tiled floor next to the shower, now isn't a good time to be fucked on weed,
While I was lying there I heard the front door open and a girls voice say "I think I know where I left my phone" oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck my mind screamed, I struggled to my feet and pushed myself into the corner behind the door praying that she would find it and go,
My heart sank as my eye caught sight of a blue mobile phone on the top of the toilet, I knew it was hers, the footsteps came closer and closer to the door, the handle turned and the door swung open, "found it" she shouted and headed toward the phone, I pushed the door closed behind her, my whole plan to rob these bastards in tatters, I grabbed her from behind my left arm wrapped round her throat and my right hand over her mouth, "don't scream" I said then saw my reflection in the mirror, she was looking right at me,
Why, Why I shouted in my mind knowing this was beyond what I ever wanted, "why the fuck did you come back, you've fucked up everything you stupid bitch" I said staring right at her reflection, her green eyes looking helplessly back at me, fear and tears filled her face,
I knew what I had to do but God help me this was to far, robbery yes but murder, me kill someone, I'd thought about it but do it, I didn't have the stomach for that did i.
I felt my arm tense up and slowly start to squeeze tighter and tighter, I felt the panic in her body, shaking and heart racing, she started to struggle, grabbing at my arm and kicking out as she moaned through my fingers still held tight over her mouth,
"Take it" I said and squeezed as hard as possible, strange gurgling noises came from her mouth as I tightened my arm,
Then she kicked out a second time and her foot hit the sink and pushed me off balance and I fell backwards into the shower still holding her neck and head,
"Mother fucker" I said as my head hit the floor, she slid from my arms and rolled off me gasping for air and started to crawl for the door, I couldn't see her face as it was hidden by her long black hair, I grabbed her leg and pulled her backwards from the door,
I was running on instinct now, fear gone from my mind temporarily, I dragged myself on to her back and grabbing her hair in my hands i started to slam her head, again and again into the tiled floor,
My mind was blank for a second it seemed but I knew it must have been longer because the noise of what sounded like a wet sponge being slapped against tiles brought me to, I snapped back in my mind and realised it was her head and I was slamming it against the floor, blood everywhere, Oh fuck me I thought, I let go of her hair my hands dripping with blood, adrenaline ran from my body like a coward fleeing from battle, I stood up still looking over her,
Her grey skirt ruffled up so her white panties were showing, her black jacket slowly starting to darken to a deeper black as the blood ran from her head round her,
I nearly puked when her leg started twitching, I couldn't move from the spot just watching the brutality that had come from my hands, what had I done, this was meant to be a simple burglary, steal some stuff and get out,
I looked into the mirror, "what the fuck have you done" I said to myself, "your a fucking murderer now, a fucking killer, oh fuck me god help me, shit, shit"
I stood there for a few seconds just staring silently at my reflection, ok, ok, ok I thought, come on pull it together for fucks sake, I washed my gloves as best I could, stepped over her body and slowly opened the door and peeked round to see if the lounge was clear, it was, I closed the door behind me and briskly moved into the kitchen,
I knew what I was looking for and there in the corner just down from the fridge on the counter top was the knife rack, I pulled the first black handle out but the blade was tiny, fuck me I thought and replaced it and took out the next one, much better, the metal gleamed as it caught a flash of moon light through the window, I moved back up to the fridge and glimpsed round the corner of it to the lounge, it was still clear,
I dashed back down the corridor to the open front door in the lounge and positioned myself behind it, I was shaking, the sick feeling still remained with me, this was like a film I thought to myself, I heard the car door open and a mans voice shout out "Mckensie have you found it yet, Mckensie" then footsteps,
Oh god here we go, please go down first time, come on, come on I thought placing my left hand on the back of the open door and my right tightened round the handle of the knife, the footsteps stopped just outside the door "Mckensie" the voice said again more sternly this time " where is she"
Then the door pushed against my hand slightly and he entered, he took only a couple of steps inside past the door and stopped "Mckensie" he said again,
I pushed the door slowly shut behind him and took one step forward and raised my arm and swung the blade point first toward the side of his neck, I felt it go in and through and out again, I'd slashed the front of his throat rather than stabbing him in the neck as I'd planned it in my mind,
He staggered hands grasping at his throat which was now spurting blood between his fingers, he turned and looked at me, terror in his eyes, stumbling backwards he fell against the couch, there were only sick gurgling sounds coming from his mouth and some slight blood spurts from the corners of his lips, I just stood there and watched, fixed to the spot as his life blood drained from him, he slipped down the front of the couch and his head hit the floor, no more noises came from him and his hands fell from his throat to the floor,
My strength felt like it was ebbing away but I knew I had to do it one last time, from where the man was lay I knew his wife I presumed would see him the instant she opened the door,
I don't know why but I put the knife down on a small dark wood table next to the door, i positioned myself on the opposite side of the door and ready for what was to happen,
"Come on, come on" I whispered to myself, I heard the car door open and close and footsteps head toward the door, as it opened and her face appeared I swung my arm, fist connecting with the side of her face, her head banged off the door and she fell, I stepped forward and as she tried to lift herself from the floor I punched her again and she slumped to the floor unconscious,
I dragged her away from the door and closed it, now what to do I thought to myself.